Song Parody: The Brown Shirted Putin Hugger

 

From June 9 thru July 14, 1958, singer / songwriter Sheb Wooley’s novelty song, The Purple People Eater became an American, Billboard chart topper. Throughout that summer, as a four-year-young boy, I must’ve spun that 45rpm single multiple hundreds of times… practically melting it down on to my Zenith™ monaural turntable. Oh… how I yearn for the carefree, innocence of my younger days.

Well, it now being sixty summers later, I’ve “grown-up” and contemporized the lyrics to better fit our far from innocent times. Either read them as a poem or take it one step further. You see… I’ve also included a Karaoke video just in case any of you choose to sing along.

A few noteworthy advisories… as for my first two choruses, I do “crowbar in” far more syllables than Mr. Wooley had written into his lyrics. But, since I, a rank amateur singer, had no problem keeping up with the music, I know this is doable. Also… owing to the fast-paced song tempo… unless you have a companion to sing / speak the brief parenthetical passages, I’d advise that you omit them.

I must also do a bit of fact checking / explaining with regards to one lyrical reference. Since the USSR’s KGB morphed into the Russian Federation’s Federal Security Service, perhaps its high time to sub in “F – S – S” for “K – G – B”? Naw… considering how Vladimir Putin is still calling all the shots… look at it this way… F – S – S? K – G – B? W – T – F is the diff?

Additionally, since Wooley’s song ender was the word “Tequila”, I had originally subbed in “Sayonara”… a word ending in “a”. However, just prior to clicking the “publish button” this early a.m. I realized that instead of Japanese, I needed to say good-bye in Russian… hence my changing over to Proshchay / Прощай! BTW, follow the link to hear how to pronounce Proshchay.

Beyond that?

I hope you can have a bit of fun with this… I know I sure as hell did!

 

The Brown Shirted Putin Hugger

Well I saw the King in his scraper, sky-high.
Sporting two devil horns and glared evil eye,
I commenced to shakin’ and I said, “ooh-eee!”
“It looks like a duped Putin Hugger to me!”

CHORUS: It was a woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted, Putin Hugger,
Woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted, Putin Hugger,
Woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted, Putin Hugger,
Looks deranged to me! (evil eye!)

He came down from his tower and lit in D – C,
I begged, “Patsy Mr. Putin Hugger, don’t harm me!”
I heard him say in a voice so gruff,
“I’ll outsource that job to a K – G – B tough!” *

CHORUS: It was a woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted Putin Hugger,
Woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted, Putin Hugger,
Woman hater, child abuser, brown shirted, Putin Hugger,
Looks deranged to me! (Devil Horns!)

I said, “Nasty Mr. Putin Hugger, what’s your line?”
He said, “Bumping off America, to me, that’s fine!”
“But there’s more to come to conquer your homeland…”
“Vlad and I will overthrow the whole world / expand!

CHORUS: He’s sold his soul, tanks will roll, Brown Shirted, Putin Hugger,
Prison camps, genocide, Brown Shirted, Putin Hugger,
We wear long frowns! Ugly, evil Putin Hugger,
There’s no place to flee! (We’re Screwed!)

He next Tweeted from D – C, just to rally his throngs.
His incoherent screeds, masked his faults and his wrongs,
He “sang” a ditzy ditty ‘bout the clouds of mushroom!
(“Sing a boop boop aboopa loopa BOOM! BOOM!! BOOM!!!)

CHORUS: He’s sold his soul, tanks will roll, Brown Shirted Putin Hugger,
Mushroom clouds, we’ll all die, Brown Shirted Putin Hugger,
We wear long frowns! Ugly, evil Putin Hugger,
Pearly Gates we’ll see? (We’re Saved?)

Well, he went on his way, and then what do ya know?
I saw him last night on a FOX TV show,
He was blowing it out, really knockin’ Sean dead,
Brain farting Fake News through the hole in his head!

Proshchay! / Прощай!

 

 

 

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