The Disagreeable Greeting Card

 

I just received my bank’s annual “Greeting Card”… a.k.a. a multiple paged print-out of their amendments to “my” credit card “agreement”. Oh, btw, I’ve positioned quotation marks around both “my” and “agreement” because… be they original or amended… [1] I’ve had no say in any of these stipulations AND [2] no one has any right to disagree… unless, of course, they don’t want to have a credit card at all.

But this does not mean I cannot recommend a summarizing, cut through all the crapola blurb, which would never need any revisions. How tree / time saving and honest the following abridgement to their terms would be…

We, the undisciplined, unprincipled, unforgiving, usurers of the world reserve the right to… on a whim… bankrupt you into homelessness and hopelessness with our sky high interest rates, penalties and fees. We will always have the final word and last laugh and… Ha! Ha! Ha!… there’s not one damned thing you can do about it… Ha! Ha! Ha!

As for their privacy statement… why do they even bother issuing one. If they truly respected our privacy they would do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING with our personal information without our prior, written and signed consent.