Lit Outta Shuck?

 

In a bygone era, whenever the overpowering stench of tyranny reared its ugly head, normally, the world could depend on a righteous American President to shrewdly, expeditiously deploy the selfless, courageous troops abroad. Indeed, these armed forces would all rush to the rescue and do their utmost to conquer / bring to justice the oppressor(s)… to shine America’s liberating beacon upon the oppressed. But…

What happens when nearly everyone is so close to such stench that they’ve gone noseblind? Would that mean we’re all lit outta shuck? Maybe not. I’d now like to rally those of us, who still have our sense of smell. Let’s try going through the proper channels.

Perhaps, we could talk House Speaker Nancy Pelosi into whipping out her trusty ol’ cell phone to alert the Oval Office Occupant to the problem.

OMG! That’s not gonna happen! That’s mainly because HE IS THE PROBLEM (so sorry for yelling). As such, the fake prez would either gleefully put her on hold or rudely hang up on her.

So, what about ding-donging the old doorbell, to pay a visit to Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell? Might we prevail upon him to… at the very least… attempt an Oval Office intervention? An exorcism? Forget it! Don’t even bother knocking on his noggin because within his “high-rise” / “attic”, there’s nobody home!

So, who to alert next? Ordinarily a call for help could get placed to the go-to superpower nations. However, considering how Xi Jinping despises the U.S.A. (you know that trade war thingy) AND how Vladimir Putin and Little Donny T are… shall we say… ♥♥♥ An Item ♥♥♥AND (take a gasp of fresh air before reading on) seeing how autocrats “Pootie and Pingie” both live to see freedom die in America, anyway…

China and Russia would absolutely have to top off our Do Not Call List.

So… how about building a coalition of nations renown for championing freedom? UH-OH!

After nearly three years of the isolationist Trumpster tearing up treaties and making bitter enemies out of America’s time honored allies, would we not expect former allies to respond to our desperate pleas for help, thusly…

You broke it! You fix it, yourselves!

Well… long sigh… what next? As I roll my eyes skyward… Hey, wait a sec!

SKYWARD! OMG! THAT’S IT! EUREKA! This could very well prove to be America’s last hope for preserving sweet liberty!

Might the very survival of American freedom depend on the good people who staff the SETI Institute, headquartered in Mountain View, California?

They do have the power to send America’s outgoing distress call to the very stars! True, the chances that any benevolent extraterrestrials would even be listening are astronomical. But, seeing how the chances of any benevolent terrestrials listening to us are astronomical, too…

Hey SETI! Let’s give it the old college try. Are you listening? I mean, listening is what you guys do best, right?