The Run On TP

 

In a different time and setting… the following tissue issue could even be humorous. Long sigh… we’re now discussing a coronavirus side-effect, namely, the hoarding of toilet paper.

Admittedly, upon first spotting my local supermarket’s utterly barren shelves, last week, I had to consciously stifle my own laughter. I mean, unless the hoarders are privy to some “inside poop” I am not, this strain of the flu doesn’t even cause “the runs” so… why the run on TP?

Let’s keep it real, folks. The only way the stores won’t be able to keep the shelves stocked is if the panic stricken public insists on needlessly “warehousing” it.

Worse yet, is how this “practice” leaves the rest of the non-hoarding TP consuming public SOL.

So, how best to get this prob under control? I could gross everyone out with the details… butt… I mean but… I don’t need to.

As one who lives on my own, and has also quantified the consumption rate of nearly every product I consume, I know that it takes me approximately one month to go through each TP roll. Yes, I do write the start date on the inside of each new roll (btw, this also alerts me to a related problem… namely… when manufacturers deceptively downsize their products).

Even if you don’t live alone, like me, it is still possible to quantify your own family’s rate of consumption.

What this all means is that my recently purchased 12 pack of TP will last me ONE FULL YEAR!

Needless to say…

• I won’t be needlessly stocking up any time soon.

• Hoarders, who wipe out their oft limited funds, are now stuck with a sheet-load of TP that could take an eternity to use up.