How The Hell Doth He Avoid COVID-19?

 

The unmasked fake prez continues to hit the campaign trail… to even hit the COVID-19 hot spots… yet… purportedly… he remains physically healthy.

How the Hell has he managed to avoid coronavirus exposure / infection, while oodles of his own people (campaign advance teams and Secret Service) have been testing positive?

Let’s explore some possible explanations…

• Perhaps it’s just dumb luck?

• Might it be how each and every person, who gets within a light-year of violating his protective bubble, has been getting tested… Tested… TESTED?

• Could it be that his steadfast, fast food diet has resulted in a grease and saline based metabolism, which has been proving deadly to that deadly pathogen?

• Perchance, does his snooty, snot-nosed elitist status grant him access to some sort of secret, preexisting miracle vaccine / wonder drug?

• Maybe he’s been shooting up FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY disinfectants? (BTW, NEVER EVER DO THAT!)

• Is it possible that the Hydroxychloroquine he’s addicted to, in rare instances, actually doth act as a prophylaxis?

• Might he be an Operation Warp Speed lab rat who’s been gleefully following his mad scientists’ orders to snort, inject and/or shove prototype therapeutics up his ass?

• Perhaps his tanning bed has been frying his mangy carcass with hazardous to corona, UV radiation?

• Could it be his bygone Deal with the Devil includes legalese, which affords him immunity to all pathogens?

• Perchance it’s something akin to the Oscar Wilde / Picture of Dorian Gray effect?

• Might he actually be coronavirus in larger-than-life, macroscopic form?

• Maybe coronavirus eschews cannibalism… i.e., refuses to harm it’s own kind (e.g. Fascists)?

• Perhaps pathological liar Donald J. Trump and his like-minded handlers are simply telling whoppers… in other words, in actuality, he’s asymptomatic and testing positive?