Where Dumb Donald Has Driven Us / The U.S.

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences… situations such as…

“Dumb Donald is so dumb, he tried to
wash his car by driving it into a _____.”

So, in this instance, just how do the two Donalds’ worlds meet?

Well, as is oft true in soothsayer circles, divining all that’s actually being observed in the crystal ball, at best, at first, can appear a bit hazy… mysterious… unearthly… otherworldly… will-o’-the-wisp.

But not to worry… it’d appear that the enshrouding mist is… slowly but surely… starting to dissipate. YES! Two… count ‘em… TWO images have started revealing themselves… with crystal clarity! We now see the way the world is supposed to be and… alas… the way that it really is…

At first, we discover the Real Donald hard at work… securely seated behind the wheel… feeling right “at home” in the driver’s seat. He’s steadfastly providing the oomph… the driving force… the forward momentum to resolutely guide our nation / world onto the high road… the higher astral plane of limitless progress. It’s a truly magical land, where our righteous wishing is all it takes to make it so. And those wishes-come-true are awesome! We see each and every soul attaining everlasting physical and spiritual well-being, blissful contentment and prosperity! OMG, our spotless windshield is now showcasing our spectacular destination: The Land of Milk and Honey.

Oh NO… say it isn’t so! Everything is starting to fade… crossfade into the inky darkness of an endless night. The drone of the gas guzzler’s engine… the dual tailpipes belching out sickly, acrid, nose-hair curling, billowing clouds of incompletely combusted petrol. The savage, pitiless tempest rages on and on. We’re traveling a rain slickened, crumbling, pothole cratered, winding, mile-high mountain road where… where… OH NO!  Off to the right, there’s the in-disrepair guardrail with countless sections missing! We’re just one errant steering wheel tug away from a plunge into the bottomless pit of misery! OH NO! There’s that ne’er-do-well… the Real Donald… who’s nodding off behind the wheel… CORRECTION… he’s so drunk on power that he’s passed out. OH NO! We’re all gonna die! We’re all careening, wildly out of control and heading for… heading for… heading for…

So sorry… everything is now breaking up. Hmm, we must’ve entered a tunnel where our crystal ball’s signal strength indicator… not unlike a cell phone’s… is showing “NO BARS”!

But not to worry… not to worry… if we scroll back up to our clip, I do believe our in deep thought, clairvoyant Match Game contestant will be able to correctly divine where motorist Dumb Donald has driven his car… and also… precisely where the Real Donald has driven the Real America…

And after Match Game has “signed off”, scroll back down to this bonus clip to really watch Real Donald in action / inaction…

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!