What Dumb Donald Hungers For

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences… situations such as…

When Dumb Donald went out with Ellen, he
wanted to impress her; so he ordered in French.
Unfortunately, they were at a _______.

Whoa! For starters, don’t we all miss the element of audience participation, here?
Soooooo… at least in the theatre of the mind, we must rephrase this, thusly…

Rayburn: Dumb Donald was soooooo dumb…
Audience: How dumb was he?
Rayburn: When he went out on a date with
Ellen, to impress her, he ordered in French.
Unfortunately, they were at a _________.

That’s better! Now, as for how Real Donald’s backward emanations had influenced Match Game’s soothsayer writers (on or before episode air date: January 4, 1977), please note how that cad’s date is not named Melania. Obviously we’re witnessing, yet, another open and shut case of marital infidelity. Furthermore, factoring in his penchant for porn stars / playmates, might Ellen be working her butt off in adult films. too?

And, as for any naysayers who’d point out that Real Donald is not bilingual? Well, would it really shock anyone were we to discover he knows a few “fresh” French phrases… you know… the type that might get his face slapped?

Turning our attention, now, to contestant Barbara and the panelists, they, too, appear to be under Real Donald’s influence. Upon the playback of our clip, please note the type of cuisine served up in the eateries, which they manage to “cook up”… i.e., how this ranges from fast food to ethnic fare. Re the latter, they mention nationalities, which that bigot oft belittles.

Well, that just about covers it. All that remains to be seen is our above clip… so… let’s all play Match Game!


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