Breaking News! Raw Footage!

The Republican National Convention is slated to run from Monday, August 24 thru Thursday, August 27, 2020 in Charlotte, North Carolina (day 1) and at various other locations remotely (days 2–4).

While this blogger cannot disclose sources, I have obtained raw footage… REALLY raw footage… of presumptive nominees Donald J. Trump and Michael R. Pence practicing their upcoming convention acceptance speeches (during a sound check).

The in the field journalist and crew… this REALLY in the field team of professionals… should have appropriate medals pinned to their uniforms for braving inordinately odious / adverse conditions while snagging this Breaking News Exclusive!

Considering the magnitude of this stomach turning, turn of events (wink / wink –> ) I must now turn this matter over to the U.S. Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA) and the U.S. Department of Labor.

According to the latter federal agency, stringent rules and regs (re compensation), as set forth by Fair Labor Standards Act (FLSA), do expressly stipulate:

“Hazard pay means additional pay for performing hazardous duty or work involving physical hardship. Work duty that causes extreme physical discomfort and distress which is not adequately alleviated by protective devices is deemed to impose a physical hardship.”

Considering the disgusting, reeking manure, which our intrepid news gathering team had encountered, most assuredly, they’ve meet those FLSA standards, and as such, have all earned every, last damned penny of their hazard pay!

Gratitude and Kudos for an extraordinary job superbly done!

By the by, from the “Ahem” Department: This blog’s fake news is loosely based on a political joke, circa 1967, where (then) President Lyndon B. Johnson and (then) Vice President Hubert Humphrey were purportedly walking thru a Texas barnyard when, all the sudden, the latter, not really looking where he was going, first, encountered a cow pie and, next, quipped, “Look boss! I just stepped onto a Republican Platform!”

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!