Dumb Real Donald’s Fungus

At some point during your visit, be sure to view the above Match Game tribute.

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences.

However… seeing how, these past 11 months, I’ve presided over nearly 50, YouTube Dumb Donald clips, my supply has nearly run dry. Which means it has now become incumbent upon me to keep this concept alive.

Always being ISO ways to heighten my creative process… I’ve even been dabbling in semi-serious seances… namely… attempting to summon the spirits of those bygone, dearly departed Match Game writers, panelists, winning contestants and maybe even the personable Mr. Rayburn, himself. You know… just to tap into their jocularity, ingenuity and expertise.

As for whether I’ve established a head-to-head match (or more) and, if so, if any benefits will be long lasting (or not)… well… only time will tell. But there’s some good news… uh… I think. This graying, old coot has not been returning from the spirit world alone. Oh wow… methinks something’s afoot… the entity within is starting to emerge. Right now… as I’m typing these very words… everything is spinning… kinda like this…

Welcome contestants, one and all, to the virtual version of Match Game 20-20. I’m your new host, M.C. Grayburn.

Our rules have changed considerably. Each of you will have just one chance to correctly match 1 or more of our predetermined, 6 definitive responses. Obviously, the more you match the more points you score. Each winner’s grand prize will be priceless… the comforting confirmation that you’re still a clearheaded, critical thinking, non-consumer of the odious Orange Man’s toxic Kool-Aid™.

Even if you don’t match, fear not! You’re still a winner if your responses prove more clever than Match Game’s (which is highly likely). By the by, you’re highly encouraged to post such gems in the comment section, below!

That said, let’s play Match Game 20-20! You’ll now have 66 seconds to come up with the definitive response(s) to the following scenario…

Grayburn: The foot in mouth disease afflicted
Dumb Real Donald, is soooooo dumb…
Audience: How dumb is he?
Grayburn: he thinks the cure for his spreading toenail fungus is _______.

Let’s start up the “think music” while you mull this over… and no peeking below this clip’s turquoise hued partition!

The foot in mouth disease afflicted Dumb Real Donald, is so dumb,
he thinks the cure for his spreading toenail fungus is _______.

1. chug-a-lugging Purell™
2. gargling with Summer’s Eve™
3. popping Hydroxychloroquine™
4. toe amputation
5. branding it a Democrat hoax
6. denying its existence

Well folks, it’d appear there’s only enough time left to say, “NEVER TRY ANY OF DUMB REAL DONALD’S ABOVE, DUMB AND DEADLY HOME REMEDIES!” My thanks to all who played today!

M.C. Grayburn for Match Game 20-20… Good-Bye and be sure to…

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!