Clear as a Bell (A.G.)

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Preface: It is quite telling how the posting of these very words got delayed, substantially, by tech woes. Here’s the rub…

I live… no… strike that… I exist within a hard-to-believe-this-is-actually-America, tech dead zone; the Land of the Modem’s “light show”, which defiantly blinks red and videos chronically buffer; The Land of the Landline that’s frequently awash with static.

Obviously, red indicators rarely mean ready and raring to go and, clearly, crackling noises are not especially conducive to Clear as a Bell (as in Alexander Graham) conversations.

Factoring in my past drive thru my hometown, it didn’t take me long to troubleshoot…

Part of the Problem… to spot the non-perpendicular, rotting wooden utility poles, strung out with sagging wires. Even more YIKES-worthy, in one case, with nowhere to re-connect the cable, the overwhelmed line technician merely opted to coil it up; to hang it all up (literally and metaphorically); i.e. head back to punch out the time clock and then head off to happy hour to tie one on.

Even critters are too smart to risk life and limb with this infrastructure. Our feathered friends rarely roost / hang out there (be they buzzards, sparrows, or anything in between). As for our furry friends, no pooch would dare to lift his leg there!

Additional Part of the Problem… My alleged Internet Service Provider has a drastically different idea as to what terminology to loosely assign to their disingenuous I – S – P acronym. To e.g. that…

  • I = Inter Net (as in bury)
  • S = Service (only the CEO)
  • P = Promptly bilk / bill Patsies

Indeed, scant days ago, this Patsy promptly paid the monthly bill they had so promptly sent me; all in good faith; i.e., going on the (overly optimistic) assumption that their recent hefty rate hike would wind up prudently targeting their crumbling infrastructure.

In other words, not to further feather the nest of their CEO, who I’ve aptly dubbed Mister Magpie. And it’s a sure bet we’d never discover Mr. M perched atop any of his crummy cables.

Why Magpie?

As we know, magpie, as defined by the New Oxford American Dictionary, is “a person who chatters idly” and, as for chatter, that means “to talk rapidly or incessantly about trivial matters.”

Yep, all in all, that sums up, yet, one more…

Critical Part of the Problem… namely, we, the bill payer patsies, are dealing with communications specialist cons who can only clearly communicate, to us, concisely, how greedy they’ve been, still are, and shall remain forever.

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Be people Vaxxed OR Unvaxxed, We
can still shed and spread the batcrap
crazy contagious coronavirus which,
in turn, spawns new variants; which,
in turn, could, eventually, render the
available vaccines worthless; which,
in turn, will drag out the pandemic’s
needless suffering, illness and death!

HENCE… this easy as pie, cover your
nose and pie-hole/hole-up heads-up:

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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