The Great American Stink-Out!

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Seeing how, Stateside, the two-party political juggernaut chronically churns out corporately owned and operated, ragged, non-rugged Prez Wannabes, come the 2024 election cycle, we can count on catching, YET, another whiff of… TA DA…

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Fusty Musty Donald J. Trump v. Old Spice(less) Joe Biden

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Here’s the rub. Biden has yet to fully grasp the severity of the hardcore, Trumper Republicans’ lopsided political playing field; aka their malodorous War on Democracy; their anti-American conspiracy, which absolutely reeks of extreme, unconstitutional, voter suppression laws and egregiously gerrymandered districts.

As such, naïve Biden has lulled himself into the false impression that ALL HE NEED DO is merely air out his stale, “I’m NOT Trump!” campaign motto / mantra and that’ll do what? Snag him a second term?

Sorry to say, Joe IS already miscasting his upcoming, political race in Aesopian terms; i.e., Biden in the role of the svelte, speedy Hare; Trump in the role of the roly-poly, lumbering Tortoise. And the Hare is likely in for a rude awakening. How so?

Well, according to Aesop…

“The story concerns a Hare who ridicules a slow-moving Tortoise. Tired of the Hare’s arrogant behaviour, the Tortoise challenges him to a race. The hare soon leaves the tortoise behind and, confident of winning, takes a nap midway through the race. When the Hare awakes, however, he finds that his competitor, crawling slowly but steadily, has arrived before him.”

Wikipedia Essay [Read More Here]
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Applying a Poli-Sci spin to Aesop…

Come November 2024, Hare Biden’s 2020 supporters will EITHER vote for less electable, 3rd and 4th party presidential wannabes, OR leave blank their ballots’ presidential section, OR not show up at the polls AT ALL; hence Tortoise Trump’s Electoral College victory and the defeat / demise of Ecology, Democracy, Liberty, Literacy and Civility.

Truth be told, President Biden desperately needs an unconventional, highly inventive, campaign manager; a person who could far better articulate dedicated, Anti-Trump / Anti-Fascism messaging; PLUS orchestrate a modicum of mischief. In that dual capacity, I just might prove Joe’s go-to guy.

Here’s the skinny. My game plan draws upon basic, postpubescent biochemistry. You see, nearly all adults are well-armed to most effectively present our Trump Trump / Dump Trump rationale / sentiments; even better, in our down to the nitty-gritty, pitty manner. Actually, in this instance, it’d be better to be underarmed.

Ahem, ahem, what I’m proposing, here, is (a drum roll please)…

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The Great American Stink-Out!

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The onset of our olfactory onslaught would focus on consistently, attending Trump rallies; i.e., PUBLICLY baring arms… uh… our underarms… our unwashed, no applied deodorant / antiperspirant pits. And, just to ensure everything “ripens” to perfection, a mandatory shaving moratorium also needs to be in effect for the duration. Now, here’s where this really, Really, REALLY GETS GOOD! As we all know, the way Ma Nature has designed us, the more passionate we feel about matters, the more we sweat and the more we stink!

Our concerted efforts to curl nose hairs would run the entire 2024 election cycle; from its earliest days all the way up to the close of the Election Day polls. We’d be targeting, in particular, the climate change intensified, sweltering, summertime heatwaves to peaceably protest outside the Republican National Convention venue; with all of our bared arms raised skyward.

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Yep, we’d all be literally Stinkin’ to High Heaven!

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Naturally, we’d need to reassure all prepubescents, who, understandably so, would be feeling a tad left out of all of our funky fun. Not to worry, kiddies, you can always raid your elders’ dirty clothes hampers to snag the requisite, pre-stinked T-shirts. Even if they prove a bit oversized, they could always be repurposed as capes OR (once nailed to a dowel) waved about like flags.

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Now, that’s what I’d brand as the e-PIT-ome of patriotism!

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And, just to make damned sure that each and every MAGA Maggot / Moron we’d meet can totally grasp the true blue meaning of our odor, we’d need to silkscreen emblazon our T-shirts with the message:

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Ya think I stink bad?
Trump’s Fascist Stench
will be the Absolute Pits!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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Time To Play Family Feud! (Vid of the Day)

For starters, in the event that, someday, some Trumpian Executive Order purges YouTube of all content, which mocks him, let’s excerpt just one of our featured, vintage clip’s comedic gems… where Larry David, in the role of Senator Bernie Sanders, forewarns…

“Look, Senator Clinton is the prune juice of this election. She might not seem that appetizing but if you don’t take her now, you’re gonna be clogged with crap for a very long time.”

 

Saturday Night Live Cast:

Kenan Thompson ~ Steve Harvey
Kate McKinnon ~ Kellyanne Conway
Margot Robbie ~ Ivanka Trump
Bobby Moynihan ~ Gov. Chris Christie
Beck Bennett ~ Vladimir Putin
Larry David ~ Sen. Bernie Sanders
Cecily Strong ~ Lin-Manuel Miranda
Melissa Villaseñor ~ Sarah Silverman
Darrell Hammond ~ XXX POTUS Bill Clinton

That said, if you haven’t already done so, let’s click playback to play Family Feud… and laugh our butts off. But, do stick around for the reality check that follows… especially if you’re an American voter, who assumes Joe Biden is a shoo-in.

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When the above, Saturday Night Live sketch was first posted, way back on October 2, 2016, it was so easy to LOL at the very notion of Donald J. Trump ever defeating Hillary Clinton.

Little doubt, Clinton, who was thought to be on the fast track to the Oval Office, was laughing, too. But, in the end, Trump got the last laugh. Such a monumentally unfunny outcome doth remind us of Aesop’s fable, The Tortoise and the Hare… i.e., his moral which addresses the issue of overconfidence, thusly…

“Don’t brag about your lightning pace, for
Slow and Steady won the race!” [read more]

Of course, a more apt description of Trump would be Slow and UN-Steady / UN-Stable.

Anyway, we can only hope that Biden’s poll numbers, which predict he’ll trounce Trump, have not resulted in anyone’s overconfidence, especially the voters’.

Granted, the polls are probably correct, but, taking Donny for granted is always dangerous. How dangerous is it?

Just ask shrink and author Mary Trump. Her recently published tell-all, right in the title, itself, characterizes her unfunny Uncle Donny as the “World’s Most Dangerous Man”. The purpose of her exposé is edification on a level that’s veritably Aesopian. More to the point, it’s fair to assume Dr. Trump isn’t laughing.

 

Stay Safe! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!