Limer-ICK! (1 Quick Limerick #105)

The Fascist is hell-bent on human rights harmin’
His brown nosers act-out in freak show, alarmin’
Their mouths drool praise for Sir Grump,
Slick puckered lips smooch his rump?
And cheeky tongues morph into surrogate Charmin™?

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Where Does Clyde “Enjoy the Go”?

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Trumper Republican Andrew Clyde, of late, has been doing double duty as both charlatan U.S. Congressman and authentic (Orwellian magnitude) American History revisionist. He recently weighed in… correction… pooh-poohed Donald J. Trump’s January 6, 2021 attempted coup d’état, thusly:

“There was an undisciplined mob, [but] to call it an insurrection in my opinion is a bold-faced lie. Watching the TV footage of those who entered the Capitol and walked through Statuary Hall, showed people in an orderly fashion in between the stanchions and ropes taking pictures. If you didn’t know the footage was from January 6, you would actually think it was a normal tourist visit.”

To borrow bold-faced liar (and poo-poo / doody head) Clyde’s own words…

Since when does “an undisciplined mob” constitute “a normal tourist visit”, hmm?

To briefly rehash reality…

Most sensible, peaceable, pro-democracy people, worldwide, perceive January 6th far more accurately than Clyde does. We had been eyewitness to the (then) President of the United States of America ordering his attack against the United States of America; emboldening his MAGA mad hatters to storm the U.S. Capitol; to do whatever it’d take to deep-six democracy / prevent legislators from performing their Constitutional (12th Amendment) stipulated duty to certify Joe Biden’s / Kamala Harris’ Electoral College victory.

Of course, Trump’s malignant narcissism did make it impossible for him to accept ballot box defeat; so much so, that he flat-out lied about widespread voter fraud; so much so, that he believed his own lie; so much so, that his devotees eagerly ate up whatever poop he fed them; so much so that, in defense of their indefensible prez and his fraudulent cause, they murdered and maimed; pillaged and looted; despoiled and soiled; so much so, that they even took dumps in the hallways; trampled and tracked their own feces throughout the premises.”

Soooooo… if Congressman Clyde actually believes that “a normal tourist visit” is inclusive of defecation and fecal smearing, what might his own personal life be like?

  • Is this U.S. House Rep. housebroken?
  • Would an outhouse outclass his digs?
  • What type of art hangs off his walls?
  • Does he gross out his house guests?
  • Just where does Clyde “enjoy the go”?

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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Doo-Doo’ing Up Something Brown?

 

This past Thursday, the conservative dominated, U.S. Supreme Court handed down their decision re the immigration policy known as DACA… Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals. Needless to say, their ruling, which failed to promptly suck up to Donald J. Trump / kiss his ass, pissed off that ferociously anti-immigrant bastard, who had hoped to deliver on his longstanding, deplorable campaign promise to Make America Ghostly (white) Again.

In order to talk himself down from an impending conniption fit and, simultaneously, toss red meat to all of the Klansmen and Nazis who adore him, Trump Tweeted this twaddle…

“The Supreme Court asked us to resubmit on DACA, nothing was lost or won. They “punted”, much like in a football game (where hopefully they would stand for our great American Flag). We will be submitting enhanced papers shortly in order to properly fulfil [sic] the Supreme Court’s [requirements]…..”

9:14 AM – Jun 19, 2020

Considering from where Trump’s policies typically originate… that is… from where he “pulls out” nearly all of his “ideas”, the relevant questions… re those papers… become…

• Used or unused Charmin™?

• Enhanced with brown “toner” or not?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The potty humor begins… after this commercial message…

Welcome to our Vid of the Day and greetings / kudos to all of you, who, like me, have been heeding the epidemiologists’ best advice to end the Coronavirus Pandemic… i.e., by hunkering down / social distancing / self-isolating / self-quarantining. If we hang tough, humanity will emerge the victors. In a sense, we, the conscientious civilians, will become the unsung, conquering heroes of this dread disease.

While this does qualify as a sobering moment in human history, it does not necessitate sacrificing our collective sense of humor.

To be sure, this microbial mess has not been without its ludicrous moments… i.e., our bearing witness to the heavily into hoarding mode consumers… in particular… those who’ve been selfishly and needlessly creating an artificial, toilet paper shortage. Admittedly, upon my being recently, suddenly stunned by my local supermarket’s empty shelves… I did nearly start to LOL. However… the levity of the moment did level off, considerably, upon my realization that folks, who really did need to buy T.P., would be S.O.L. Butt… But to get back onto my main topic…

Actual potty humor can likely trace its origins back to the very first unsuspecting hunter / gatherer who had the misfortune of [1] entering a Serengeti grassland that was loaded with partially hidden, animal dung and [2] upon accidentally stepping into it, losing traction, slipping, falling, and winding up face-down in a pile of poop. One can practically hear the eruption of his peers’ guffaws… their, perhaps, subsequent rehashing of this incident, while seated around the dinner hour campfire… the communal, uproarious laughter cast upon the cool night breezes and carried off into the moonlit wilderness.

And… from that day forward the jokes just kept on coming… e.g…

Q. What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: DUNG!¹

Q: What does the Enterprise and Toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons.²

Of course, some creative comedians do add a tad of sophistication within their doo-doo / potty humor. Such content will be clearly evident upon viewing a vintage Carol Burnett Show clip… uh… following this classic commercial message…

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery.

Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover our coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

• Listen to the learned leaders who fully embrace time-honored scientific principles.

• Ignore the ignorance of the avaricious who elevate monetary matters over moral values.

 

 

 

Classic Comedy Attribution:

¹Monty Python’s Flying Circus

²Source Unknown