Novel Coronavirus needs a meaningful makeover, especially the meaning of its “first name”. Once we are all masked and socially distancing 2 meters apart, let’s face it. Such nomenclature just doesn’t sound scary enough. Hell, it almost borders on cutesy.
Were we to look up “Novel” in a Thesaurus, we’d soon discover several of the less attractive synonyms, which would more accurately characterize this pathogen’s problematic attributes… as well as expose the extraordinary challenges it presents to the epidemiologists / healthcare providers. Check ‘em out…
novel (adjective): unconventional, unfamiliar, unorthodox, unprecedented, untested [<– UNTESTED!!!]
But, even these adjectives don’t paint a scary enough portrait and, in all likelihood, would not significantly change the following fictional, mainly for illustrative purposes, dialogue…
Who: 2 coworkers
What: coffee break
Where: employee lunch room
When: early January 2020
Why: labor laws require it
“So, have you heard the one about Wuhan, China?”
“Please no! Not another one of your one-liner groaners.”
“I’m not joking… neither are the news stream talking heads.”
“Uh… I haven’t been online. Couldn’t pay my ISP bill last month. What’s up?”
“Something really weird. It’s called ‘Novel Corona’.”
“I hope that brew is Lite, my New Year’s resolution is to drop a few kilograms.”
“Resolution? You? Since when have you ever lasted beyond January 2nd?
“You know me too well.”
“Besides, Novel C isn’t beer.”
“Then what is it? Toyota bringing back the Corona after two decades?
“Wrong again.” It’s some new, dread disease.”
“Hmm… sounds like something you’d catch if you didn’t use protection.”
“No, no, no! Not that kind of disease.”
“Whew… that’s a relief. So, WTF is Novel C anyway?”
What is Novel C? INDEED! While such break room banter may be a bit far fetched, it is indicative of the blasé attitude that is still endemic within the populace… even against the backdrop of a raging pandemic where, as of my posting time, there have been 2,404,047 reported cases of COVID-19, worldwide, resulting in 164,891 deaths!
Let’s put those nearly 165K deaths into better perspective. That’s as if entire communities, such as Tempe, AZ… Pomona, CA… Tallahassee, FL… Dayton, OH… Syracuse, NY and Vancouver, WA had suddenly become ghost towns.
Now, IF those sobering statistics are not enough to spook all the butt dragging, sitting on their wallets world leaders into action… i.e., persuade them to  promptly allocate and distribute funds to properly equip vaccine research facilities,  speed up production of medical equipment / supplies,  mass produce 7.7 billion test kits and, last but not least,  TEST! TEST!! TEST EVERYONE!!!… THEN let’s introduce the next leader of the (human) free world… practicing his victory dance!
To all humans: Stay Safe – Stay Home – Stay Healthy! As for that thar cockroach↑, he’ll stay healthy no matter what!