Da Dungarees’ Dung Ick Factor?

I spent 30 long years doing my time in Retail Hell (5 of which were not all that bad). Too often, I got to eyewitness boss-wardens at their worst; the dog eat dog unprofessionalism; the up and down the corporate ladder, anything goes, diseased sexual shenanigans; (and more to the point) how all that crap not only negatively impacted our day-to-day store ops, but also compromised the well-being of customers and subordinates, alike.

Let’s check out a few horror stories…

• My very first boss had opted to adopt, not one, but two, non-housebroken schnauzer pups; gave ‘em free run of our stockroom; allowed ‘em to urinate and defecate in any, within reach, open shipping carton. Seeing how neither the (eventually dried) pee nor the (more or less solid) poop had perceptibly stained our primary product line (dark indigo Levi™ jeans) we, the underlings, were ordered to stock the shelves / racks and sell these crawling with microbes jeans, AS IS, to our unsuspecting clientele. To my truth-in-advertising minded readers, I suppose we could say our, on the QT, corporate motto had been: “We put the DUNG in DUNGarees!”

• It was about that same time when overhead slashing, corporate tightwads had ordered all store restrooms’ hot water heaters turned off. And then, just to earn extra brownie points, our boss soon stripped her monthly store supply orders of hand soap. Beyond that, our toilet bowl soon wound up… uh… well… let’s just say I’ve seen far less gross public restrooms.

• Our health compromising work conditions were inclusive of fatigue, too. Yep, as overworked, underpaid and undervalued subordinates, we were oft scheduled to work well past midnight, yet, be expected to return (bright-eyed and bushy-tailed) by 5 or 6 the same a.m. It’d be an understatement to say groggy employees (especially cashiers) were, indeed, fortunate to catch costly errors, in time; i.e., to avoid being falsely accused of internal theft.

Folks, it’d be a forgone conclusion to say that the above-mentioned working conditions are hardly unique (to me) AND, in all likelihood, have worsened since workplace related injuries necessitated my way too early departure from Retail Hell (now, some thirteen years ago).

So… other than rehashing retail’s revolting side… just WTF is my point here?

For starters, I absolutely DO NOT want anyone to co-opt the following discussion into some sort of lame excuse. All this amounts to is my trying to better wrap my head around the BIZARRE nature of Covid-19 vaccine hesitancy, and, that does demand exploring BIZARRE possibilities.

While I’d hope that Retail Hell, as I’ve known it, is NOT APPLICABLE to Retail Pharmacies (oft, our primary inoculation sites), WHAT IF, in part, it’s been our workforce’s negative perception of retail, which has been causing some of them to view such venues as managed by unsanitary un-professionals, who staff their stores with burnt out, too pooped to participate, error-prone, transient employees?

After all, prior to the pandemic, we have been accustomed to inoculations within sterile, doctor’s office / emergency room / hospital settings.

Could a switchover to those traditional, more clinical venues boost the vaccination rates within hesitant homelands, such as America?

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

`

America’s Return To Normal

Of late, my homeland’s head of state has been scratching his head; wondering: Why do so many (too many) Americans continue to flip off the proven SAFE and EFFECTIVE, absolutely FREE OF COST, Covid-19 vaccines? Why do they so easily rebuff the aired and streamed, slickly crafted / choreographed, smiley faced, Public Service Announcements, which are supposed to sell the BIG PROMISE; namely,… cue the drum roll / rim shot…

AMERICA’S RETURN TO NORMAL

Admittedly, there’s been insufficient time, wherewithal and staffing to comprehensively psychoanalyze the crap out of vaxxing’s paradoxical, flummoxed state of affairs. Ergo, at best, any attempts to do so will be limited to our gut trusting abilities. With all that in mind, let’s try running the following theory up the flagpole to see if it’ll fly…

• Could vaccine hesitancy, in part, be contact traced to the BIG PROMISE, itself?

These days, just WTF does “normal America” stand for? Alas… long exasperated sigh… in part…

• The (so far) too little / too late attempts to rein in climate change; the consequent destructive, deadly, frequently freakish weather patterns. Left unchecked, as early as 2050, such forces could render our world uninhabitable.

• The autocratic, avaricious Trumper Republicans; who only rise and stay in power due to their validating their base’s bigotry and enacting / enforcing illegal voter suppression laws (Jim Crowism, Gerrymandering, etc.)

• A gilded government of, by and for the obscenely wealthy; all at the expense of the middle class which has been rapidly plunging into poverty; the already impoverished class which has been getting their virtual atoms ground into the asphalt.

• An armed to the teeth, gun sick society; inclusive of seething with racism, swaggering with power, judge, jury and executioner cops slaughtering anyone with a melanin content exceeding lily white AND psycho snipers hellbent on shooting up houses of worship, school houses, workplaces, etc.

• The freak show cult, which still believes snowflake / flaccid Donald J. Trump’s flat-out, unsubstantiated lies about widespread voter fraud; namely, his domestic terrorists, who, back on January 6, 2021, on his behalf, had attempted to overturn free, fair elections and, in the process, overthrow the United States of America and forever install DJT’s fascistic régime. Left unchecked, at the mere drop of a red MAGA hat, these traitors will attack again.

Well, folks, a return to normal, SUCH AS THAT, will never serve as the impetus for folks to vaxx up. The need to do so will have to come from within each of us. Granted, long sigh, my parting pep talk will come across as simplistic, even a bit corny, but, the oft paraphrased maxim, “Where there’s life there’s hope” can become decent folks’ rallying anthem.

And speaking of decent folks, even the late Stephen Hawking incorporated that wisdom, thusly…

“However bad life may seem, there is always something you can do and succeed at. Where there’s life, there’s hope.”

Hey, even unspoken, such a sentiment did serve as the January 6th phrase that pays.

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

A World of Diff ‘tween “The” & “A”!

`

After spending 460 days doing his talk show in locked down, pandemic necessitated isolation, Stephen Colbert made his grand re-entrance to NYC’s Ed Sullivan Theatre, last night, to perform before a live and in-person, full audience; all in attendance enjoying (relative) safety; thanks to everybody being fully vaxxed.

To have been an eyewitness to such a momentous occasion certainly did prove there’s a world of diff ‘tween “The” Late Show” and “A” Late Show (the latter rebranding had served as the subtle reminder that not all was (is) well in our homeland / home world).

Such a viewing experience (even from my own living room) proved the much needed mood elevator. So much so, I even managed to beat Mr. Colbert to the punch (punchline) of one of his jokes; namely this news clip enhanced wisecrack…

S.C.: President Biden’s trip abroad will end with his much anticipated showdown, on Wednesday, with Russian President (and cover model for Maritime Murders Monthly) Vladimir Putin. This meeting could be awkward ‘cause earlier this year Biden called Putin a ‘killer’. This weekend Putin was asked about his homicidal tendencies [clip rolls]…

Interviewer: Mr. President, are you a killer?
Putin: (chuckling menacingly) Over my tenure, I’ve gotten used to attacks from all kinds of angles; and from all kinds of areas; under all kinds of pretexts and reasons; at a different caliber and fierceness; and none of it surprises me.

S.C. Punchline: Sooooo… uh… that’s a yes?

CBS Late Show • June 14, 2021

While both predictable Putin and his non-surprising, non-response (tossed word salad) proved a certifiable downer, to have been reminded that I can still think in a humorous vein also did me a world of good.

Analog recording Colbert’s first night back on Broadway, had been well worth the twenty minutes spent [1] hunting down an old (suitable for tape-over) VHS cassette and [2] another five minutes taken to reconfigure the wiring of the hodgepodge of my aged and ailing video gear.

While I’m certain that for Colbert / his entire staff, their reclamation of their Late Show studio / stage has been reward enough, I don’t believe that goes far enough.

Seeing how each and every one of these role models / morale boosters have so valiantly soldiered on throughout the pandemic, at the very least, President Biden should pin medals on these civilians’ uniforms.

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

Pols, Pals & Foes

`

Let’s pick up the pieces; when humdrum Pols take tame stand
And stick to pedestrian speeches; bond to strike up lame band
Once slick admen join them; Pols and Pals both play game bland
They trick to paint tainted world; sell us a spiffed, spoofed name brand

Their nice ads roll ‘round the clock; spread thru the airwaves and stream
“Roll up your sleeves!” they beseech, “Please join vaxxed people’s team!”
While vaccine science, trustworthy, rolls out the Game-Changer scheme
“Jabs” can’t knock out / cure social ills; not at such nauseous extreme

Bottled up in ads’ ointment, the flies team / teem; galore
Trump troglodytes engage erudites; THAT no-win, endless war
Normal notions stump Trump; also his dumbbell / oddball corps
Freedom? Justice? Just buzzwords; they all buzz off / abhor

In most known negative “isms”; Trumpers sprawl, wallow, bask
To learn from pandemics’ hard knocks? They’re not up to that “task”
They won’t even thwart Covid; by simply donning a mask
Are they beyond all redemption? Need anyone ask?

Deep down in the deep end, of the primordial pool
Trumpers get off on their guns; nuff to make them all drool,
Some strafe houses of worship, the workplace, the school
Others are BLAM-BLAM bad cops, who flip off BLM’s rule

Trumpian race and class warfare, proves chronic infection
Dots Pandemic? Dots Climatic? Simps can’t make the connection
Freakin’ fools who can’t fathom the Free Fair election
These days, go on a rampage; foment insurrection

Epilogue:

Granted, verses, above, tell the heart-rending tale
Of my homeland’s decline; beyond the pale / stale
Might “where there’s life there’s hope” wisdom, somehow, prevail?
Well, our Stars and Stripes still fly; Trump’s insurrection did fail!

`

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

Station Axing

`

In Have nations; rich in vaxxing
Administrations, regulations are relaxing
Expectations, explorations are waxing
Emancipations, celebrations are maxing

`

In Have-Not nations; in need of vaxxing
Perturbations, trepidations are overtaxing
Debilitations, decimations are waxing
Cremations, inhumations are maxing

`

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

The SlimeLords of OutHouse Earth

`

As a lifelong, steadfast, science adherent, over the course of the past sixteen months, my preexisting respect for our world’s pandemic professionals could only intensify. To CliffsNotes what I’ve learned from them:

Whenever / wherever folks impulsively and prematurely let down their guard, the opportunistic coronavirus has rushed in to fully exploit that unfortunate, unforgivable lack of resolve.

For the corroborating, damning evidence, reasonable people need look no further than the alarming worldwide Covid-19 infection and fatality spikes (past and present); in particular, within the United States, India and Brazil.

In other words, what that godforsaken Corona-V and HIS asshole, inbred, variant varmints have taught me is that THEY… NOT HUMANS… are the SlimeLords of OutHouse Earth. Sorry to coin such a phrase, but from the microbial POV, that’s, precisely, how they assess the damned dump. Beyond that, whenever THEY decide time is ripe to collect the rent, we wee mortals can wind up coughing up (our lungs); worst case scenario, wind up paying in full (with our very lives).

Alas, of late, my pandemic expert heroes have begun to (impulsively? prematurely?) minimize their own masking up / social distancing protocols; my word choice, indeed, intentional. To further drive home my point, let’s take a few secs to free associate several synonyms of “minimize”: belittle, downplay, make light of, pooh-pooh, etc.

That’s not too harsh an appraisal, either, seeing how when “The Suits” follow suit / let down their guard, too, they’ll need to rely on the easily exploited “honor system”; one where their hardcore antimasker, antivaxxer “Karen” customers will shamelessly lie about being inoculated; for the express purpose of satisfying their psychotic urges to go maskless.

True, the vaccines are becoming a game changer; playing a significant role in ushering in our return to a more normal life.

However, everything these experts have taught us, tells me that it’s not, yet, time to be letting down our guard. The last thing we need is for yet another variant to rear its ugly head; to get its (literal) choke hold on humanity. What if such a mutation winds up bamboozling the available vaccines, oh, say, one month, one week or even one day from now?

On a more uplifting note, just yesterday, I did manage to breathe a sigh of relief into my pandemic mask when I discovered how my fellow grocery shoppers (store employees, too) were not, yet, buying into shedding their masks; even though the proprietor had impulsively and prematurely torn down his entryway’s “you must mask up to shop here” signage.

Look, there’s nothing I’d love more than to be proven dead wrong. But, how is erring on the side of caution wrong? How does masking up and staying socially distanced harm anyone?

It’s the alternative that could be dead wrong; could even involve the permanent microbial overthrow of society; all “courtesy” of Corona-V and “his” variants; a.k.a. The SlimeLords of OutHouse Earth.

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

Nightmares and Dreams Come True

It’s only natural for us to react with anxiety and skepticism when a dream come true solution finally arrives to scare off our wide awake, round-the-clock, nightmare problems.

More to the point, when life securing vaccines suddenly roll into our hometowns to combat pandemic magnitude, debilitating and deadly disease.

To varying degrees, most of us have not been immune to experiencing the side effect of reluctance; i.e., when the moment to roll up our sleeves presents itself in the here and now. Well, if this will make any of you feel any better, consider the following pep talk that (full disclosure) I’ve also been giving to myself:

When we witness society’s privileged class pushing and shoving us, the commoners, aside, in their feverish attempts to cut to the head of the vaccination line, that means the vaccines have gotta be safe.

More to the point, that’s what upper crusters do best; i.e., deem us lab rats at their disposal; (you know) just to see if we experience any detrimental side effects.

I hope such rationale proves useful to you.

Additionally, until the vaccinations help humanity achieve herd immunity:

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`