Top Billing? (1 Quick Limerick #098)

 

The narcissist nincompoop tries to upstage,
Coronavirus, that’s on wild rampage,
Helps not the sick and the dying,
Expects their thanks; For Not Trying,
When he don’t get that, he seethes his outrage!

 

Stay Safe… Stay Home… Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unveiled Villain (1 Quick Limerick #097)

 

In the limelight, the Crowned Head doth bask,
Snarls at Newshawks, who take him to task,
He’ll pooh-pooh face protection,
To curb COVID infection,
Might he need muzzle, far more than a mask?

 

Stay Safe… Stay Home… Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Trying Times Got You Down? Try This Recipe!

 

One of the better ways to avoid crying through any crisis is to dry our eyes long enough to serve up and chow down on some comfort food… one fave of mine being flapjacks, pancakes, crêpes (whatever we choose to call ‘em).

PROBLEM: After Coronavirus had morphed into a pandemic, I needed to determine how long I could hunker down before risking a trip to the grocery store. Ergo, I took inventory of my limited larder. It was then and there that I spotted that half-full bag of flour, one nearly full container of baking powder and a recently opened bottle of pancake syrup. Oh so close… yet so far. I had to let out a sigh.

OH WHAT TO DO? Seeing how it’s unwise to flip off perishable ingredients’ expiration dates, I had been forced to use up my supply of fresh eggs, way too soon. However, considering my still half full, stamped with a mid-May expiration date carton of milk and good till mid-July quarter stick of butter, I felt a sudden surge of desperation inspired inspiration.

SOLUTION: I decided to twerk an old family recipe… WHOA… correct that typo… oh what the hell… that got me chuckling and seeing how we could all use a good laugh, I’m leaving it, as is (STET would be the printer’s instruction). Now where was I? Oh yeah…  I decided to tweak an old family recipe and wound up serving up a rather tasty stack of flapjacks this early a.m.

EPIPHANY: Seeing how we’ve all been living through trying times, I’ve decided to share my new (twerking-free) Bare Minimum Flapjacks recipe and encourage each pancake aficionado, worldwide, to try your hand at whipping up the following recipe…

DISCLAIMER: Being mindful that most folks usually opt out when it comes to cooking from scratch projects, I’ve opted to over-explain much of this process. To be sure, the more experienced you are, the more you’ll be able to flip off these instructions. That said… let’s get cookin’…

CHECK LIST: You’ll need to gather the following paraphernalia and ingredients…

• medium mixing bowl (1.4 ltr / 1½ qts) (a good sized salad bowl will do)
• 25.5 cm / 10 in diameter cast iron griddle (I never tried it, but maybe a frying pan?)
• 0.95 ltr / 1 qt sauce pan (a bit of “overkill” since we’re only melting 1 pat of butter)
• ½ cup measuring cup (or even a coffee cup that’s the same diameter top to bottom)
• dinner table soup spoon
• teaspoon
• butter knife
• rubber spatula (or, in a pinch, washed hands’ fingers will do)
• metal spatula (I find the long handled variety best for flipping pancakes)
• medium sized double boiler or oven container (to house completed pancakes)

• ½ cup of wheat flour (slightly packed… btw… I prefer unbleached)
• ½ tsp sugar (a good guesstimate is amt. we typically add to our coffee cups)
• 1 tbsp (slightly heaping) baking powder
• 1 pat of butter (width = 3 mm / 1/8 in)
• 1 tbsp canola oil (most other cooking oils will probably be OK)
• ½ cup milk (I prefer skim but lowfat or whole will do)

METHOD STAGE 1: On a warm setting, preheat your griddle and storage container (that cooktop double boiler or oven container). Melt the butter in the small pan and set aside. Next, prep the dry ingredients. In the bowl, form and center a flour “well” where you’ll dump in the measured out sugar and baking powder. Next add the canola oil and milk. Mix slowly until the batter is lump free and shiny.

NOTE: Pancakes tend to stick at the very center of my griddle, which can make for flipping difficulties. Assuming this prob is not unique, I recommend divvying up melted butter, thusly…

METHOD STAGE 2: First spill most of the butter into the batter (while reserving a wee bit to spill, dead center, on the griddle). Increase your griddle temp setting a bit higher and then thoroughly blend the rest of the butter into batter for another 2 – 3 minutes. When the griddle just begins to smoke, start that first pancake (while pouring the batter, divvy it up while keeping in mind that you’ll be making four). Frying time will take approximately 80 seconds per side. Times can vary but there are some helpful clues, for example, when the batter starts to bubble. And there’s no law against crouching and slightly lifting the pancake’s edge to see how brown it is.

You can expect to wind up with approximately four 9 cm / 3.5 in diameter pancakes (I intentionally keep them on the small side to facilitate flipping).

That’s it! Serve ‘em up with plenty of pancake syrup (or whatever other topping you may have on hand… oh… say… some strawberry jam?).

FINAL STEP: ENJOY!

 

 

 

 

 

The Save Humanity Grand Prize

 

I hope my analogy will, somehow, be of some use to someone, somewhere, within our Coronavirus, shut down world.

It took nine months’ worth of “isolation” for most of us to be born.

OK… full disclosure… I “busted out” one month early, but hey, once Mother Nature had said, “get out”, neither my own mother nor I really had all that much say in the matter. While I have, since, lived a long life, this has not been sans some noticeable complications (those details deferrable to another blog… another day).

But… to get back on topic and cut to the chase scene…

In a manner of speaking / speaking selflessly… we, who, wholeheartedly desire to prevent this damned pandemic from decimating / relegating us to the ranks of a doomed to extinction, endangered species… have fully accepted our mission… have kept our eye on the Save Humanity Grand Prize.

As such, we, the amenable / faithful, have been heeding our doctors’ orders to observe social distancing / isolation protocols… in a sense, we’ve reentered the figurative womb and are now awaiting the optimal time to be reborn.

Granted, Coronavirus has presented a whole new learning curve for the medical community to cope with (for them this is akin to OJT). As such, neither they nor we, at present, can divine, precisely, how long we will need to remain “in utero”. But there is one certainty in play…

Were we to be reborn prematurely, that would present a whole new set of inconsistent-to-life complications.

To avoid such a needless fate, let’s continue to keep our eye on the Save Humanity Grand Prize… in other words…

If any science denying, ignorant and impatient leader ever barks out his ill-advised, ill-timed “get out” command… to expressly countermand the learned, best advice of our medical community… let’s make damned sure to defy him.

Telling him where to go, too, would not be a bad idea, either.

 

My parting message to you… stay well! If you are ailing, you have my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery. Wherever, whenever we discover a leadership vacuum, it’ll be incumbent on us to do everything we can to save our lives. Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

 

 

 

 

 

And we sigh a collective sigh of relief…

 

By now, most of us have heard the good news…

As of my blog posting time, Donald J. Trump is now accepting the scientific fact that it would’ve been premature and reckless for him to declare victory over Coronavirus while the pandemic still rages on and on and on…

I would’ve loved to have been a fly on the Oval Office wall… just so I could’ve been eyewitness to whatever exorcism it had taken to [1] free Donny of his anti-science demons, [2] resurrect what little sanity and humanity he might still possess and [3] sweet-talk him into nixing his ill-conceived, harebrained, political and greed driven scheme to cram-pack America’s church pews by Easter Sunday (April 12th).

We should award the Public Safety Officer Medal of Valor to the unsung hero(s)… correction… the savior(s) who miraculously prevented Trump from causing a massive spike in the number of Coronavirus infections and deaths.

I would’ve blogged on this topic earlier, today, but, due to the fake prez’s capricious nature, I had to first make damned sure he really meant it when he announced the extensions of social distancing protocols to April 30th.

Of course… who the hell knows what Trumpian mood swings tomorrow will bring?

 

 

 

 

 

 

1 Dozen Daffodils

One of the scarier aspects of this damned pandemic has been the ease with which Coronavirus can exact its emotional toll… that is… if we allow it.

Albeit not as often as would be optimal, I have managed to battle that damned bug’s relentless attempts to drag me down. So far, I credit my minor victories to my still being deeply rooted to my boyhood home. This doth afford me a profusion of fond memories to draw upon… in particular… of how, throughout my (now dearly departed) folk’s 40 year marriage, they had teamed up to beautify their property (and the neighborhood, too), courtesy of their gardening projects.

By the by, their springtime perennials continue to be the very first to bloom in the immediate vicinity. And I do look forward to / count on the arrival of each vernal equinox to remind me of how much of themselves my folks did leave behind.

A moment ago, I stepped outside to discover how one dozen daffodils, awoken by Ma Nature’s alarm clock… i.e., her overnight thunderstorm… are now swaying, in full bloom, in the temperate, gentle breeze.

Ever since then, my parents’ handiwork has been reasserting their lingering presence… almost rendering it palpable.

After nearly three long weeks of social distancing… I no longer feel as isolated.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Magical Thinking’s Trick

Back in the early 1980’s, when humanity first added two, 3-letter acronyms to our lexicons, namely HIV and AIDS, the (then) fake prez, one Ronald Reagan, was the man-child, who hadn’t wanted a highly communicable disease to go down on his watch. So, how did his (spin) doctors play down a highly communicable, deadly pathogen?

Short Answer: Magical Thinking.

“In psychiatry, magical thinking is a disorder of thought content; here it denotes the false belief that one’s thoughts, actions, or words will cause or prevent a specific consequence in some way that defies commonly understood laws of causality.” (Source Wikipedia / Read More Here)

Somewhat Longer Answer: Reaganites had opted to brand AIDS, (exclusively) a gay man’s disease. Granted… they did trot out a bit of Parenthetical Fast Talking to hint at how HIV could also infect patients receiving tainted blood transfusions… BUT their paste on a smiley face, overall, misleading message was…

If you’re not a bed-hopping gay male and/or in need of donated blood / blood products, you are good-to-go? That it’s, somehow, A-OK for otherwise healthy heteros to bare back it while flinging themselves limp?

If those magical thinkers had possessed any healthy skepticism, at all, they had certainly checked it at the Oval Office door. Most assuredly, I was not buying into any of their White House whitewash. Within a nanosecond of ear-witnessing that Republican spewed claptrap, I asked myself…

• Would not bisexual males also make AIDS a female problem… everybody’s problem?

Truth told, on Reagan’s watch, people needlessly got sick and (until recently), the doctor uttered sentence “You’ve got AIDS” had been a death sentence. Had the general public been told the sobering truth… right from the get-go… namely… that only monogamous couples don’t need to routinely “rubber up”… people would’ve begun playing it safer far earlier. That bygone era’s fake prez had squandered a golden opportunity to prevent all too real human suffering and death. And, ironically, in the process, he had actually caused a highly communicable disease to go down on his watch!

What Reagan did prove to me is that even an ignoramus can teach us these valuable lessons…

• Any self-serving, magical thinking president, who winds up “singing” unhealthy “lullabies” to the general public, does an inexcusable disservice to humankind.

• Any leader with his head up his ass has an obstructed view of reality and, as such, is virtually never a trusted, credible source… especially when it comes down to life or death matters.

• The same assessment applies to magical thinker Donald J. Trump and his monumentally ass-backward mismanagement of the Coronavirus Pandemic.

 

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery. Wherever, whenever we discover a leadership void, it will be incumbent upon us to do everything we can to save our lives. Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Warm regards…

 

The only warm regards befitting any lowlife, who would propose
sacrificing humanity, simply to fatten up stock market portfolios:
May you burn up in the Hell, of your own making, HERE on Earth
and face down Satan’s blazing inferno, once you do dwell in Hell!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ll Bet We All Can Outdo This Tune’s Dude!

 

While the Coronavirus Pandemic’s highly recommended, social isolation protocols (to say the least) have been trying and tiring, we must never take our eyes off the Grand Prize. After all, our being temporarily bored to death is an equitable trade off… i.e., seeing how the alternative could be inclusive of death, itself.

Every moment we spend in seclusion helps slow the spread of contagion and WILL buy precious time for the medical community to diagnose / treat / cure the ever-increasing backlog of patients and, ultimately, facilitate the healthcare professionals’ selfless, heroic efforts to contain / conquer this potentially genocidal pathogen.

Key to a happy outcome for humanity, is our helping ourselves to some pleasurable diversions. When left to my own devices, that involves two keyboards (computer and piano), hanging out at WordPress and tracking thru my CD, LP, VHS and DVD libraries. And should I ever tire of such star quality (actors and musicians), there’s literal stargazing, too (both naked-eye and telescopic). When left to your own devices, I’m confident you can easily outdo my own boredom fighting MO.

Now, speaking of musicians… this would be a great time to return to this post’s headline, thusly…

I’ll Bet We All Can Outdo This Tune’s Dude!

 

That dude would be the very character, which the Statler Brothers’ crackerjack composer, Lew DeWitt, portrays within the track Flowers On The Wall. As he presents his musical vignette, he sums up, succinctly, what has got to be one of the worst cases of cabin fever on record.

To quote Wikipedia’s storyline synopsis:

“The singer assures a concerned neighbor that, even though he rarely, if ever, leaves his home, he leads a full life: counting flowers on the wallpaper, playing solitaire with a deck of 51 cards all night and well into the morning, smoking, watching Captain Kangaroo and pretending to go out.” (read more here).

BTW, smoking would be ill-advised. Not really preaching… just saying…

As for anyone who now may be asking, “Who the hell is Captain Kangaroo?”

Well, to the very first generation of TV tykes (inclusive of yours truly) our idolized Captain (a.k.a. Bob Keeshan) was a kiddie show pioneer (akin to Mr. Fred Rogers). The clip below… as well as this Wiki Link… will help fill in a few more details.

If you still find yourself ISO a great diversion, why not follow up this blog’s vids with additional YouTube content. That platform’s library is as limitless as the ever-expanding multiverse above.

 

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery. Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s play the Bad News / Good News / Bottom Line game!

 

BAD NEWS: Donald J. Trump is hell bent on defying his own Coronavirus Task Force. That temperamental, money-grubber’s planned noncompliance would pit his own crass, craven political ambitions against the best, science-based advice of the coolheaded, Medical Doctors Jerome Adams (Surgeon General), Anthony S. Fauci, Deborah L. Birx and Robert R. Redfield.

BOTTOM LINE: That avarice driven, corrupt businessman’s deadly intent will prematurely reopen America for biz by relaxing vital to humankind’s survival, social distancing / isolation protocols.

GOOD NEWS: Since, all along, it’s been the Governors who’ve been shutting down their respective states, only they can reopen the homeland.

BOTTOM LINE: Good Governors might outwit an Evil Nitwit.

BAD NEWS: It would not be beyond the Narcissist / Terrorist Trump to punish each governor who flat-out refuses to kiss his ass / knuckle under to his deadly demands.

BOTTOM LINE: Such Trumpian retribution would likely involve his heartless plot to cut off financial and medical aid earmarked for the plague states. For hundreds of thousands…. maybe even tens of millions… of Coronavirus stricken and sickened Americans that would mean needless suffering for some… premature, pointless death for others.

GOOD NEWS: That latter group will be cured of their Coronavirus infections and freed from Trumpian tyranny.

BOTTOM LINE: They’ll be cordially invited to attend that Big Family Reunion in the Sky

BAD NEWS: Coronavirus Round II… akin to the 2nd Shot Heard Around The World… will reassert itself with a vengeance.

BOTTOM LINE: Best case scenario? Humankind will wind up an endangered species. Worst case scenario? We’ll go extinct.

GOOD NEWS: My worst fears nearly never come true. Posting them on the www, might even be setting myself up for the embarrassment of being proven dead wrong.

BOTTOM LINE: I could live with that. And so could you.

 

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery. Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover our coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.