Fortune Cookie Blog: Oceans of Tears

What a crying shame it is, that there are never supply chain breakdowns;
no shortages when it comes down to the worldwide distribution of hatred;
the root of all evil; the relentless driving force behind bloody warfare, gun
violence, police brutality, terrorist attacks, insurrection, vile acts of torture,
enslavement, homophobia, fascism, racism, casteism, sexism and ageism.
Let’s make this New Year the moment we start drying our oceans of tears.

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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What Makes a Man a Man?

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Today, let’s start off with a multiple choice, fill-in-the-blanker…

If you hang around a particular, video sharing platform for more than three minutes, tops, you’re bound to bump into an oddball who’s “occupation” is best described as _________:

  • A. adman
  • B. madman
  • C. nadman
  • D. all the above

If you chose “D”, go to the head of the class.

Typically, his insufferable ads begin with him spilling his spiel…

“Testosterone is what makes a man a man.”

Typically, his “well duh” “revelation” triggers my recollection of an apt, bygone, screenplay retort…

“Geeze, you figured that out Sherlock.”

Actor Jack Lemmon • Character John Gustafson • From film Grumpy Old Men

Seriously, what middle school graduate wouldn’t already know that?

This nameless dude (Hey, let’s call him Sherlock) actually considers himself to be some sorta leading authority on… on…

Well, while I won’t aid and abet his con by working his side of the street, suffice to say, he’s been doing his damnedest to sucker in gullible, roly-poly, past middle age guys, who’ve been “hanging” around whatever love nest(s) they’ve been frequenting.

Anyway, Sherlock appears oblivious to how his speaking with authority is only coming across as off-putting arrogance. And, seeing how he neither trots out a medical degree nor, bare minimum, dons a white lab coat, it’s highly unlikely he’s a qualified physician or even a dietician.

Oh, by the bye, his on cam attire is way too dress casual. He’s nearly in the buff (topless) (and no buff bodybuilder is he).

Truth be told, a Saturday Night Live, hilarious send-up could not upstage what he does in dead seriousness.

To keep it all real, Sherlock has been manufacturing a solution to a problem that’s a non-problem. Stripping this down to the bare-bones, Mother Nature prefers her procreators to be physically fit and under age 40. And therein is the main reason why she slows 40+ guys down.

Yeah, sure, most couples do know that it’s not always about making babies; that there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with people staying active up till the very end.

Yet, Ma Nature would disagree.

Going beyond that, the way Sherlock demeans the male gender is offensive to me. I do consider myself more than a “Y” chromosome.

In spite of that, what’s truly astounding, here, is how Sherlock has, actually, inadvertently, sleuthed the very, driving force that, from time immemorial, has hammered in needless, incalculable human suffering; the bloody, no-win wars, torture, sexual violence, enslavement, ethnic cleansing, persecution, hyperpartisanship, workplace posturing, road rage, anti-maskism, anti-vaxxism, Trumpism, etc.:

“Testosterone is what makes a man a man.”

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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10 Seconds of Near Lucidity

Five years ago, even Donald J. Trump had been able to muster a fleeting moment of lucidity re the Stars and Bars… even though, in my book, his chosen word “respect”, belongs nowhere near a discussion of the confederate flag.

With that in mind, I’ve expanded on this timely, related issue…

The early colonists / citizens of America, who had the audacity to enslave people of color should never escape history’s harsh judgment… be they American military geniuses, presidents, framers of constitutional passages or Confederate generals, plantation owners and secessionists.

Considering how enslavement is a crime against humanity, let’s all take the following one question multiple choice quiz…

What would be sufficient posthumous punishment for those who enslaved humanity?

a. scrubbing their names / stories from our history books
b. toppling and melting down their monuments
c. stripping their names off our maps / military bases
d. laundering paper currency to wash off their mugshots
e. all of the above

Hmm… let’s factor in the following wisdom…

“Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” – – – George Santayana

With that in mind…

Let’s promptly expose the inhumane within unflattering, tell-all history books, rebrand their statues “Monuments To Stupidity” and move them into Halls of Shame museums. As for maps, bases and currency, there’s no shortage of virtuous people, who’ve graced society throughout history. Let’s commemorate and venerate them, instead.

Re that aforementioned currency issue, let’s see what happens when fake prez Trump (who idolizes Andrew Jackson), experiences one of his all too frequent fits of bigotry and misogyny… so much so that he delayed the Treasury Department’s redesign of the $20 bill. Their original plan had been to replace slave owner Jackson’s mug with slave abolitionist Harriet Tubman’s countenance by 2020. Oh, btw, Trump believes the $2 bill would be more appropriate for Tubman. That suggests what? That Klansman Donald devalues her / deems her a 10% person?