The FAKE Good News: Ten years ago, the Hans Nopkins University medical research team, headed by D. Lou Shunz, MD, pioneered an entirely new classification of therapeutics to totally eliminate the human aging process, hyper-evolve the immune system and bat shit crazy augment both organ and tissue regeneration. (Aside: Say bye-bye to toenail fungus!)
“Back in 2011, we began seeding the clouds, globally, with these super-meds, and, ever since, the rain and snowfall has done the rest. Make no mistake about it, by now, this process has totally enhanced all water supplies; hell, not even the most remote farms’ wells could’ve possibly escaped treatment. Every paradigm we’ve ever projected indicates the same. gradually accumulating super powers. Within six months, the first reports of our accomplishment shall begin to surface! The projected results are nothing short of astounding. I mean, only a Sci-Fi vaporizing ray gun blast could ever obliterate any human being.”D. Lou Shunz, MD ~ 03/07/21
Shunz went on to reveal the name of the most prominent patient he has ever bio-engineered in the lab; namely, ruthless dictator wannabe Vladimir Limpdick.
The FAKE Bad News: Comrade Limpdick possesses the one and only arsenal of hand held ray guns / rifles. Additionally, having already ruthlessly and successfully hacked into our world’s top ten nuclear launch facilities, he now commands sufficient WMD to hold all 7.8 Billion of us humans hostage. Before the year is over, he intends to and will conquer the whole freakin’ human race.
FAKE Op-Ed: Hmm, how ironic that billions of immortal human beings will soon be condemned to eternity in a Fascist State.
BTW, a friendly reminder, you know, just in case you may have missed repeated usage of the word, FAKE, and this post’s headline:
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO TRUTH TO ANYTHING YOU HAVE READ ABOVE.
Well, at least, to the best of our knowledge…
Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!