The Great American Stink-Out!

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Seeing how, Stateside, the two-party political juggernaut chronically churns out corporately owned and operated, ragged, non-rugged Prez Wannabes, come the 2024 election cycle, we can count on catching, YET, another whiff of… TA DA…

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Fusty Musty Donald J. Trump v. Old Spice(less) Joe Biden

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Here’s the rub. Biden has yet to fully grasp the severity of the hardcore, Trumper Republicans’ lopsided political playing field; aka their malodorous War on Democracy; their anti-American conspiracy, which absolutely reeks of extreme, unconstitutional, voter suppression laws and egregiously gerrymandered districts.

As such, naïve Biden has lulled himself into the false impression that ALL HE NEED DO is merely air out his stale, “I’m NOT Trump!” campaign motto / mantra and that’ll do what? Snag him a second term?

Sorry to say, Joe IS already miscasting his upcoming, political race in Aesopian terms; i.e., Biden in the role of the svelte, speedy Hare; Trump in the role of the roly-poly, lumbering Tortoise. And the Hare is likely in for a rude awakening. How so?

Well, according to Aesop…

“The story concerns a Hare who ridicules a slow-moving Tortoise. Tired of the Hare’s arrogant behaviour, the Tortoise challenges him to a race. The hare soon leaves the tortoise behind and, confident of winning, takes a nap midway through the race. When the Hare awakes, however, he finds that his competitor, crawling slowly but steadily, has arrived before him.”

Wikipedia Essay [Read More Here]
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Applying a Poli-Sci spin to Aesop…

Come November 2024, Hare Biden’s 2020 supporters will EITHER vote for less electable, 3rd and 4th party presidential wannabes, OR leave blank their ballots’ presidential section, OR not show up at the polls AT ALL; hence Tortoise Trump’s Electoral College victory and the defeat / demise of Ecology, Democracy, Liberty, Literacy and Civility.

Truth be told, President Biden desperately needs an unconventional, highly inventive, campaign manager; a person who could far better articulate dedicated, Anti-Trump / Anti-Fascism messaging; PLUS orchestrate a modicum of mischief. In that dual capacity, I just might prove Joe’s go-to guy.

Here’s the skinny. My game plan draws upon basic, postpubescent biochemistry. You see, nearly all adults are well-armed to most effectively present our Trump Trump / Dump Trump rationale / sentiments; even better, in our down to the nitty-gritty, pitty manner. Actually, in this instance, it’d be better to be underarmed.

Ahem, ahem, what I’m proposing, here, is (a drum roll please)…

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The Great American Stink-Out!

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The onset of our olfactory onslaught would focus on consistently, attending Trump rallies; i.e., PUBLICLY baring arms… uh… our underarms… our unwashed, no applied deodorant / antiperspirant pits. And, just to ensure everything “ripens” to perfection, a mandatory shaving moratorium also needs to be in effect for the duration. Now, here’s where this really, Really, REALLY GETS GOOD! As we all know, the way Ma Nature has designed us, the more passionate we feel about matters, the more we sweat and the more we stink!

Our concerted efforts to curl nose hairs would run the entire 2024 election cycle; from its earliest days all the way up to the close of the Election Day polls. We’d be targeting, in particular, the climate change intensified, sweltering, summertime heatwaves to peaceably protest outside the Republican National Convention venue; with all of our bared arms raised skyward.

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Yep, we’d all be literally Stinkin’ to High Heaven!

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Naturally, we’d need to reassure all prepubescents, who, understandably so, would be feeling a tad left out of all of our funky fun. Not to worry, kiddies, you can always raid your elders’ dirty clothes hampers to snag the requisite, pre-stinked T-shirts. Even if they prove a bit oversized, they could always be repurposed as capes OR (once nailed to a dowel) waved about like flags.

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Now, that’s what I’d brand as the e-PIT-ome of patriotism!

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And, just to make damned sure that each and every MAGA Maggot / Moron we’d meet can totally grasp the true blue meaning of our odor, we’d need to silkscreen emblazon our T-shirts with the message:

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Ya think I stink bad?
Trump’s Fascist Stench
will be the Absolute Pits!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Go’ing My Way? ~ Fortune Cookie Blog

From time to time, most content, posted on Freebie WordPress Sites,
will be sponsored by a certifiable quack, who promises his potential
patients that, if we pony up, he will, STAT, reveal his surefire method,
to completely empty our bowels! Folks, DO NOT empty your wallets!
Try my surefire method, instead; and it won’t cost you One Red Cent!
I’ve discovered the very notion of Donald J. Trump [1] taking out the
White House, come Inauguration Day 2025, [2] rolling out the tanks
all across the late great U.S.A. and [3] surging onward to trample and
trumple the whole world more than enuff to promptly send me Warp
Factor 10 speeding off to the nearest, possible outhouse. Give’r a Try!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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If you’re finding life lacking…

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Let’s take a moment to consider, compare and contrast our lots in life…

• What of the pathetic, idiotic, opportunistic online sponsors, who actually believe toenail fungus, tummy flab, testosterone deficits and improperly textured turds trump our far more serious, worldwide woes.

To name but a few, how about the KNOWN, SO FAR, nearly 5 million Covid-19 deaths and how, too damned many of our human family members have been facing down nutritional and educational starvation; grotesque systemic racism; fascism setting up shop within the most unlikely places (e.g., within Trumpian America) and, last but not least, how climate change (quite literally) is burning down our entire planet.

• What of the willful, anything-for-a-buck webmasters, who throw their platform doors wide open to any and all creepy, deep pocketed sponsors who just happen by; all sans any apparent vetting processes, which could better assess the safety / efficacy of those huckstered snake-oil potions; peer review those how-to manuals and run criminal background checks / judge the legality of those “professionals” and their touted “services”.

In other words, just how many of those sponsors are akin to societal Lemmings / Lemons?

And, speaking of that latter “L” word, do check out this time honored, well-known proverb…

“When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.”

Elbert Green Hubbard (June 19, 1856 – May 7, 1915) [Read More Here]

And, speaking of that lemonade, might any of those sponsors and webmasters be in imminent need of prison orange jumpsuits? This doth smack of a solution to the ever-growing problem, at hand; also calls for the practical application of…

The law of supply and demand!

To say the very least, it’d behoove any animal wranglers and clothiers who may happen by, today, or anytime in the near future, to go the carpe diem route.

So, have my observations served as a mood elevator to anyone in need? If nothing else, I’d hope one or two of you would welcome my working this sector of the WordPress multiverse pro bono.

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Didja hear the one about…

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Didja hear the one about the rude, crude, unethical, mentally unbalanced Palm Beach, Florida restaurateur / chef / Trumper, whose specialty is plating nutritionally unbalanced, four course suppers? Seeing how his bon vivant patrons can only phone in their orders or go online; and how his home delivery crew apes their boss’s lousy ‘tudes, he’s aptly named his business venture:

Heels on Wheels*

*Cue the drummer’s rim shot!

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By the by, here’s the rundown on that Chef’s TO DIE FOR menu topper…

  • Primordial Soup (seasoned with sea salt; sorry, trilobites out of season)
  • Crunchy Hydroxychloroquine Tablet Salad (Ivermectin house dressing)
  • Raw Meat Chuncks Au Jus (dripping red blood / disinfectant marinade)
  • Marie Antoinette Devil’s Food (let ‘em eat) Cake (Iced by ex-ICE Agents)

Bon Appétit?

  • Truth be told, the above content is no joke because very little is laughable.
  • Not funny since it taps into DJT’s flawed character / failed régime’s polices.*
  • And, No Joke, NEVER try “cooking” that fake chef’s deadly recipes at home!
  • That warning to benefit the 1 or 2 folks who may take my joke too seriously!

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*To better describe the above “cuisine”: The unevolved, unenlightened Donald J. Trump remains the consummate anachronism. He has yet to socially distance himself / crawl out from the 3.7 to 4.0 billion years ago primordial soup; well, at least not in the same manner, which you and I have. Furthermore, just as the deadly pandemic was setting out on its deadly march across our planet, his televised advocacy of the NON-Covid-19 cure-all Hydroxychloroquine as well as injections of (FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY) chlorine bleach/disinfectants, little doubt, had caused more than one of his gullible toadies to needlessly get sick and/or “buy the farm”. While, to the best of my knowledge, he has not huckstered on behalf of the more recent FAKE faddish Covid “panecea”, Ivermectin, it’d be totally in character for him to do so. As for that main course, the in perpetual, insufferable campaign mode Trump, in serving up his raw, red meat, racist rhetoric, routinely triggers his rabid, bloodthirsty Nazi / Klansman rally attendees; motivates these hate mongers to commit violent acts against minorities. And, last, but not least, while his ordered 2017 strike against Syria was going down, Trump was actually shoving chocolate cake down his pie hole (watch him salivate whilst in reverie mode HERE). Re those ICE agents, his goon squads had physically / emotionally battered asylum seekers who didn’t measure up to reprehensible white supremacists’ narrow parameters.

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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New Alice’s New Wonderland

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Reflect on the Looking Glass; espy each Ancient Faced Clock
Where counterclockwise sweep hands, go tick-tock-tick-tock
Is this glass barrier unbreachable; doth it forevermore block?
Or have humans, yet, to discover; the occult key to that lock?

Each temporal mechanic, bedecked in crisp, tailored lab frock
Knows their beliefs can’t be berated; be belittled like schlock
Volunteer, aptly named Alice; her heroes Armstrong ’n’ Spock
Checks checklist; nears full-length mirror; she’s ready to rock!

Intrepid woman steps thru, infiltrates with one knuckled knock
Father Time waves her way, warily; in state of palpable shock
He quizzes, “Why are you here? To Revere Me? Jeer?? Mock???
Once she dispels his suspicions; towards each other both flock

She asks, “Can you halt aging, in here; set back our Bio clock?”
“Fade away wrinkles / crows feet; acne scars / the marks pock?”
“From our seen-better-days bods; can our years you lop; dock?”
“Alas Alice,” Pop sighs, “Your postulate’s PURE POPPYCOCK!!!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Regurgitating An Apt Analogy

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In the wee hours of 01/21/21, NBC-TV’s Late Night host, Seth Meyers, via his always-tell-it-like-it-is exposé, A Closer Look, successfully articulated the mixed emotions that most critical thinkers have been experiencing while attempting to assess the nascent, post Trump tableau.

Said Seth…

“Even amid this moment of collective relief, the nation is still in the midst of several unprecedented calamities; none of which will magically disappear anytime soon. It’s a little like getting rid of the last guy at a party; you’ve spent four years yawning and stretching and hinting that he should get out, and, when he finally leaves, it IS a relief; until you remember you still have to clean up all his puke; and he, like, puked everywhere!”

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Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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“Dancing With The SARS” (SARS-CoV-2)

“A family of coronavirus particles (Timothée Chalamet, Cecily Strong, Beck Bennett, Lauren Holt) have a disagreement during a Christmas reunion.”

Clip and set-up quip courtesy of the Saturday Night Live YouTube Channel
Dec 13, 2020 • 173,658 views • Thumbs Up 10K / Thumbs Down 263

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SNL’s comic genious unmasks coronavirus’ ferociously communicable nature; from the pitiless pathogen’s perspective. View the clip above or, should playback issues ever arise, over @YouTube.

About all that’s left to be said…

Sure we can all laugh at the SNL cast’s superbly delivered oneliners and double entendres, BUT, seeing how, just yesterday, the COVID-19, stateside fatalities reached the 300,000 mark AND how that deadly disease has snuffed out over 1.6 million members of our human family, worldwide, we had all better get dead serious about observing the life saving pandemic protocols re good hand hygiene, social distancing / isolating and, last but far from least, MASKING UP every time we go out in public!

“We know that if everyone, or if we could even get 95% of the people let’s say to mask up for a 90-day period, three months, we could cut the death rate by about 200,000 Americans.”

CBS4 Medical Editor Dr. Dave Hnida • Quote from Raetta Holdman‘s article posted December 7, 2020 at 2:58 pm • [Read More Here]

No one should even need to point out how saving lives is everyone’s moral and civic duty!

My gawd, we ARE all fully capable of outwitting a mindless microbe!

Let’s all get the last laugh at this nasty pathogen’s expense!

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Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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The Obama Book Reading Sketch

Ciip courtesy of the Jimmy Kimmel Live YouTube Channel
November 20, 2020 • 515,165 views

President Barack Obama, at present, is promoting his new book, A Promised Land. His interview, last night, with late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmell serves as a refreshing reminder of what it’s like to actually have a well-informed, open-minded, good-intentioned, law-abiding, self-effacing, down-to-Earth human being residing within and governing from the White House.

My above portrayal pretty much sums up why, to this very day, I’ve preserved Mr. Obama’s personally delivered, 2008 get-out-the-vote message on my landline’s answering machine; why I did my part to elect and re-elect him; why the election of his VP, Joe Biden, shows much promise. After eight years of working as a team, President-Elect Biden will have a wealth of experience to draw on. And, should additional advice ever be needed, he / we can rest assured that Mr. Obama will always be but a phone call away.

To set up our above clip, cued up to start at 21:49 (if all goes well), we’ll be viewing what I’ve titled “The Obama Book Reading Sketch”. Mr. Kimmel will further explain his novel idea to set the fun in motion.

Obviously, for any of you who’d like to view this positively enlightening and enjoyable interview, in its entirety, its but a rewind away.

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Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Don’t we all need a good laugh?

 

Even if your homeland is not as mucked up as mine, most citizens of the world would answer the above, headlined question with an emphatic YES!

Of course, that might lead to these follow up questions…

• Is our above clip’s commercial content merely highly creative or is it genuinely funny?

• If the latter, why is it chuckle-worthy?

• Might a half-years’ worth of social isolating have something to do with it?

• Is it a reminder of our bygone high school/college and/or current workplace lab experiments?

• Does it evoke comparisons to the zaniness of Monty Python’s Flying Circus?

• Is it merely all of that slapstickish egg play?

• Why ask why?

• Why not stop over-analyzing and just enjoy the clip at face value?

• While my follow up “thought experiment” / fantasy query, most emphatically, is tongue-in-cheek, if my blogging about Purple® helps their bottom line, should they not, at the very least, offer me a 10% off coupon?

All laughs aside, not unlike my homeland, my own 55-year-old Sealy® Posturepedic® is way beyond shot to hell!

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!