Eeewwww! The (Mercifully Short) Short Story

 

Once upon a time… there lived a bad, Bad, BAD Boy, named Oleg.

His claim to fame? Well, if you really must know, he was renown for his YUGE YAP; his incessant, incoherent, inane and insane utterances. He was also instantly recognizable, due to his orange hue and tousled, yellowish, straw-like hair strands. Although he was stunted both intellectually and emotionally, seeing how both puberty and societal expectations of mediocrity oft rule, it was both inevitable and regrettable that he’d grow physically and rise to power.

Oligarch Oleg deemed his mirror, his Window to the World. He loved only himself and was only loved by an ignorant and / or insane cadre of his subjugated sycophants and subjects. So enamored with himself, was he, that he flat-out refused to allow Stephanie, his sexually harassed, enslaved, dressed in tattered rags chambermaid to launder his soiled, odoriferous articles of clothing. Hell, he even bawled like a big baby whenever she’d fling his chamber pot’s contents out the window, which overlooked the backyard.

“What a waste,” he’d lament, while mulling over how “best” to “honor” the growing alarmingly, mountainous dungheap.

“What a waste,” she’d lament while mulling over how Oleg’s Dark Ages, choke-hold on power had caused both her genius level IQ and people smarts to languish; denied her both the wherewithal and opportunity to ever see her dreams come true.  She dared not even turn her back, to roll her eyes in disgust, without inviting his unwelcome, pawing, tiny hands.

So, just how bad was the inevitable, pervasive, decaying fecal stench? Well, even the flies had established a NO FLY ZONE over Oleg’s Palace; an airspace encompassing thousands upon thousands of kilometers.

Well, one dismal, miasmatic morn, this stink took a distinct turn for the worse. Oleg woke up with what he deemed to be a perfect, Perfect PERFECT notion worming its way into his “noodle”. Instantly acting upon this “insight”, he promptly issued his royal decree: The Endangered Feces Act of ’19! In short, this document’s legalese stated that, sans his express consent, no one harboring evil intent, would ever be allowed to touch his precious poop. Normally, that’d seem like a win-win, but…

By the very next day, Oleg launched his new corporation, namely, Kingly Keepsakes. He’d market his brand, spanking new, exclusive, product line to the masses; expect his subjects to piss away their hard earned rubles / kopeks to purchase various sized lumps of their beloved Oligarch’s poop; all encased in crystalline plastic. The available (literally) crappy novelties included key fobs, belt buckles, bellybutton charms, dangly earrings, paperweights, bookends, doorstops… Eeewwww!

The End

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fortune Cookie Blog (freedom & fascism)

 

Be wary of the leader who [1] views his country’s freedom securing charter
with contempt, [2] deems its time-honored authors / present day caretakers
a disgrace and [3] miscasts whistle-blowers / 4th estate guardians as villains.
His ignorance is only trumped by the malevolence which consumes his soul.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fortune Cookie Blog (ignorance)

 

Each day we witness destruction snuffing out Creation, militancy defeating
Diplomacy, bigotry trumping Brotherhood and hostility snubbing Amity. That’s
because ignorance swings the wrecking ball, tugs at the itchy trigger finger
and bedecks the body in white hooded robe, brown shirt and/or boxing gloves.

 

 

 

 

 

9/11’s Wars Only Filled Coffins and Emptied Coffers

 

On this 16th anniversary of 9/11, America’s darkest day in recent history, it would’ve been far too easy for this blogger to extensively lambaste America’s alleged ruler of that era… fault him for ignorantly or indolently or intentionally failing to heed a key intelligence briefing… one which would’ve provided him five full weeks to try to thwart that terrorist attack.

That squandered opportunity resulted in nearly 3,000 dead and over 6,000 injured on 9/11, itself, and, subsequently enabled war profiteers to make a killing (both figurative and literal) once the U.S. got entangled in two, ill-conceived, unwarranted wars. By some accounts both endless, never to be won battles, to date, have slaughtered 1,000,000 innocent souls… while bleeding humanity and the U.S. treasury dry. In other words…

All we have to show for the war on terror are filled coffins and emptied coffers.

Now, if you think my three above paragraphs are too strong and too long, you should’ve seen my three-pager word document, re this same subject matter, which never hit the www on this day!

Just so there’s no misunderstanding… I totally despise all terrorists especially ISIS, al Qaida, the Nazi Party and the Ku Klux Klan. However, we can never expect conventional wars to ever combat and conquer any of these deplorable insane, intracranial ideologies. Indeed, terrorism’s specific latitude and longitude cannot be found on any world map, which makes the boots on the ground approach obsolete… which makes a damned fool out of any leader, who’d ever declare a war on terror.

The best way to thwart terrorism is to end nutritional and intellectual starvation wherever it’s found in our world… to see that everyone makes full use of their God given (or if you’d prefer) their innate talents… to not stand in the way of every industrious individual’s progress. When nearly everyone has a purpose in life… feels fully contented with their lot in life… it will become nearly impossible for any terrorist recruiter’s sales pitch to ever gain any traction.

True, that’s a tall order to fill and will take considerable time and effort… but that’s true of all worthwhile endeavors. And the sooner we, as a society wise up, the better.