Beauty Contest MC Dumb Real Donald

From 1973 – 1982, long before the Real Donald became a household word, we found the clever and clairvoyant Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences.

At this juncture, I’d normally be presiding over a Dumb Donald clip, but, seeing how my demand has nearly exhausted YouTube’s supply, breathing new life into this concept will all be up to me. To facilitate this reincarnation, I’ve been simulating, semi-serious seances ISO head-to-head matches with our dearly departed, Match Game souls.

And methinks this graying old coot has not been departing the spirit world alone.

O – M – G! In the blink of an eye… something wondrous is now afoot. The entity, within, surges… surrounds… surpasses… surfaces… and I must surrender! Henceforth, my new game show host persona will be presiding over this revamped game show format… Voilà and Ta-Da!

Welcome contestants, one and all, to Match Game 20-20. I’m M.C. Grayburn. Our new rules are straightforward. Each of you will have one chance to match as many of our six, predetermined responses as possible. You’ll be playing for a grand prize that’s truly priceless:

Confirmation that you’re still a clearheaded, critical thinking non-consumer of the odious orange man’s Kool-Aid™!

If your responses do not match, YET, prove more clever than Match Game’s (which is highly likely) you’ll still win! BTW, we’d love to read your witty and/or wise alternatives within the comment section, below.

Soooooo, let’s play Match Game 20-20!

Grayburn: Beauty contest talent scout, emcee and
judge, Dumb Real Donald, is soooooo dumb…
Audience: HOW DUMB IS HE?
Grayburn: his list of Supreme Court nominee finalists
includes 6 real and fictional women named __________.

Once the “think music” starts, you’ll have 1 Minute to figure out your responses… and no peeking beneath the turquoise hued, rectangular secrecy partition!

Beauty contest talent scout, emcee and judge
Dumb Real Donald, is so dumb, his list of
Supreme Court nominee finalists includes 6
real and fictional women named _________.

(btw, check out the women’s linked screen tests / audition tapes)

1. Karen McDougal
2. Sarah Palin
3. Kimberly Guilfoyle
4. Mildred Ratched
5. T.M.I. Karen
6. Ivanka Trump

My thanks to all who showed up to play today! M.C. Grayburn for Match Game 20-20!
Good-Bye and be sure to Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fortune Cookie Blog (What Wall?)

 

Let us be damned sure to point out the barefaced hypocrisy
of the germ-o-phobe king with a wall fetish; who barebacks
it with porn stars & playmates; who doesn’t have our backs
when it comes down to walling off the deadly coronavirus!

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

RU really, Really, REALLY DYING to attend THAT Rally?

 

Let’s check out the latest poop on the big time Germ-O-Phobe Donny, the science denier and magical thinker, who had originally and erroneously claimed that [1] the COVID-19 “scare” was a Democrat Hoax, [2] this disease’s then known 15 cases would soon be down to ZERO and [3] the Pandemic would be all over… TA-DA… by the end of April!

These days, when the Trumpster isn’t hunkering down in his bunker, night and day, his medico feverishly tests, Tests, TESTS everyone, who comes within a micron of breaching Bunker Boy’s White House Bubble!

Hmm, perchance has Donny, who failed, big time, to act promptly, proactively and purposefully to thwart COVID-19, finally begun to appreciate the seriousness of the coronavirus crisis of his own making?

Not likely.

That praise junkie, ISO of his adulation fix, is just about ready to go quacking and waddling about his COVID-19 mucked up world and campaign trail. Seeing how that cad, notorious for hobnobbing and hanging out with porn stars and playmates, sans protection, will also be stumping mask-less, one wonders…

• Just how safe will that Germ-O-Phobe be feeling?

• How safe will the legions of his rally attending, sycophantic, sicko suckers be feeling?

Well, true to little wittle Donny’s “it’s all about me” attitude, he’s so “concerned” for the health and well-being of his voter base that he’s insisting they read and agree to the terms of his Rally Warning Label. Check this out…

“By clicking register below, you are acknowledging that an inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people are present. By attending the Rally, you and any guests voluntarily assume all risks related to exposure to COVID-19 and agree to not hold Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.; BOK Center; ASM Global; or any of their affiliates, directors, officers, employees, agents, contractors, or volunteers liable for any illness or injury.”

REGISTER

Seeing how his fans are always dying to see see their Fascist idol… in the flesh… all 227kgs / 500lbs of his jiggly, flabby Fascist flesh… it’s entirely possible that his disclaimer’s first four words, “By clicking register below” will instantaneously prompt them to click on “REGISTER” sans reading the rest of Trump’s Terms. The consequences will be grave…

• The fake prez will not only be firing up his base, he’ll also be fanning the flames of a COVID-19 wildfire.

• His fans will soon be dying.

• Future campaign rally attendees will be those who’ve “only” been sickened by COVID-19.

• Hmm… just how safe will the mask-less Donald J. Trump feel when, his massive crowd’s roar gets replaced by the sound of everyone coughing up their diseased lungs?

 

 

 

 

 

A Pathogenic Dealey Plaza?

 

Following the (alleged), lengthy, outward-bound trail of “bread crumbs” extending from the White House to two specific boudoirs, we now know how sufficient funds proved insufficient in silencing a porn star and a Playboy bunny… i.e., could not prevent them from exposing the X-rated (alleged) prez’s (alleged) extramarital hook-ups.

1. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one wonders how a self-proclaimed “stable genius” could ever be caught in flagrante delicto. One would think that, at the very least, he’d be aware of the fact that…

Money Can’t Buy Him Either Love or Silence!

How ironic it is, indeed, how he cannot even properly assess who’s to blame. Hell, all he would ever need to do is gaze adoringly into the nearest mirror. Now, that’s not asking too much from a narcissist… is it? Well… apparently it is.

Instead, we find that his persecution complex, paranoia and arrested development are all acting like a harmful drug interaction… i.e., one that drives him to bogusly brand finger-pointing Democrats and liberals as mudslinging disseminators of “fake news”.

At the risk of over-generalizing… must anyone remind the (alleged) prez that sex industry workers tend to be liberally minded? Such a ‘tude could certainly prove an asset for anyone who bares it all and/or boinks for bucks. Additionally, many of these folks feel the “allure” of porn wages, which far exceed the non-living, minimum wage jobs, which billionaire conservatives purportedly “create”. As such, a nude model / porn star could neither feel any loyalty to the big bucker Donny… nor could he ever expect them to cozy up to the glaring hypocrisy of his publicly, pretending to be a Bible thumper while privately fornicating.

Hmm… to help him atone, perhaps, future mistresses could spank / thump Trump’s rump with a Bible? Uh… BAD IDEA! The Secret Service would first freak out… next categorize that as an assault… and finally rush in to (hopefully secretly) offer up their protection.

2. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one wonders how a self-proclaimed germ-o-phobe could ever overcome his fears long enought to engage in risky, condom-less conduct? BTW, the porn star did claim they had barebacked it! Imagine that… even against the backdrop of an antibiotic / antiviral drug resistant, STD raging pandemic… one that’s inclusive of potentially fatal HIV/AIDS! And, most assuredly, when considering the tenacity and adaptability of most microbes, usage of words, such as FATAL, would not be unwarranted.

3. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… this means he has not only had sex with two women but with every last, damned one of their sex partners… and with every partner those partners have had sex with… and on and on and on.

4. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… how can any medical professional ever claim (with any certainty) that nasty microbes… maybe even some that have yet to be discovered… have not been rotting away his body and (alleged) brain? Indeed, might his reckless, erotic private behavior account for much of his wildly erratic, public behavior?

5. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… what would stop an enemy from using that against him. What if that were to go beyond that (alleged) made-in-Russia pee-pee tape, which Vladimir Putin is (allegedly) using as blackmail? Bad enough… BUT… here’s where the (alleged) prez’s (alleged) promiscuity gets even dicier.

What if, someday, an ISIS type foe were to hire some bioethics barren, recombinant DNA geneticist… ask him/her to tinker with the adenine (A), thymine (T), guanine (G) and cytosine (C) bases… and in the process… cook up a totally new sexually transmitted disease? Let’s say that resultant microbe is fine-tune engineered to be female gender-friendly. Fleshing that diabolical scenario out further, each infected woman would become a totally unharmed carrier fully capable of spreading the disease to each of her totally vulnerable male partners… men who’d, eventually, succumb? Perhaps that pathogen should be named the BlackWidowSpider-18? Or to be more scientifically accurate call it the LatrodectusMactans-18?

6. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one would hope that his Secret Service protectors are cognizant of the fact that any of his drop-dead-gorgeous women, in actuality, could be in possession of a deeply concealed (as in… invisible to the naked eye), drop-dead caliber weapon. In other words, the fake prez, while tooling down each partner’s “private road”… as it were… could be driving down the pathogenic equivalent of JFK’s 11/22/1963 motorcade drive through Dealey Plaza.

One would expect Secret Service training to be inclusive of such futuristic plots… i.e., so they’d know their protection should be inclusive of confronting and confining a suspected bio-assassin before she had even undone one blouse button… or if things had already gotten down and dirty… to… at the very least… rush in… just in the nick of time… to offer (latex) protection to the prez!

Yeah… I know… I know… I know…

This blog’s already icky subject matter has just gotten even ickier. But… as we all should know… both a Blogger’s and a Secret Service agent’s job can get dirty… but damn it… someone has to do it!