Tweetstorms, Terrorism, Taxes & Testosterone

 

Being a big fan of alliteration, I could not help but notice all of the “T” words in which one can neatly compartmentalize this past year’s front page news… hence my above blog headline.

Indeed, we are just about ready to say, “Good-bye”… or more to the point… “Good riddance” to 2017… a lousy year that was all about unevolved, little boys trapped in grown men’s bodies… little boys behaving badly… very, Very, VERY BADLY!

While I never opted into parenthood… nonetheless… my fatherly nature is still thoroughly ingrained within my DNA. To be sure, every instinct within my being now tells me that the time is ripe for some much overdue Father – Son chats.

And in spite of these talks involving XY entities, I still invite and encourage everyone in possession of XX chromosomes to read on, as well.

 

Tweetstorms

 

Bad Boy Donny:

You have the uncanny knack of knowing the exact wrong thing to say at any given moment… and then ignorantly and undiplomatically Tweeting / uttering your inflammatory words. Most notably and worrisome is how you’ve been targeting the enemy of your own making… North Korea’s Kim Jong Un.

Are you even remotely aware of how much carnage your “fire and fury” Tweetstorms could unleash? How there’s the potential for other, mentally deranged “world leaders” getting into that “the more the merrier” and “let’s all pile on” mindset? Thermonuclear exchange reducing our entire world to a burnt out cinder and irradiated graveyard may be how you choose to partay… but… then again… is that not how all of you terrorists roll?

FYI, don’t expect anyone who winds up being a survivor to ever come staggering towards what’s left of DC. No well-wishers will be gathering around you just to stroke your massive ego… to thank you as you boast about your “historic,” “epic,” “tremendous,” “biggest ever,” nuclear holocaust (NOTE: Words in “” are Donny’s uttered faves). After all, it’d be tough to talk while one is puking from both the radiation sickness and the revulsion we feel for you.

The best way you could “Make America Great Again”… the only way you could serve and save our nation… indeed our entire world… would be to veg out in front of the TV and/or go golfing every last damned day, which remains in your term… and not run for reelection!

 

Terrorism

 

Bad Boy Mass Murderers:

If you ever believe the voice in your head is god’s… guess again. If his words are prodding you to kill people, rethink that NOW! Guys, we are taking about a Supreme Being… an entity that created an entire universe. Do you really, Really, REALLY SERIOUSLY believe such an omnipotent force would even need to stoop so low as to outsource the extinction of the human race to insignificant blobs such as you?

In other words, you are no longer needed. Why not… you ask? Well, that’s because we already have two terrorists who are far better equipped to kill off seven plus billion humans. Indeed, you can outsource that task to the professionals… Dotard Donny and Killer Kim.

On a more positive note, believe it or not, there just might be some hope for you rank amateurs. How so… you ask? Well, many of you DO dredge up your god to justify your maiming and murdering of the masses. If you could no longer do so, might you even feel remorse? Think about it.

If nothing else, first, wrap whatever is left of your warped minds around that preceding paragraph and then stand down.

 

Taxes

 

Bad Boy Wealthy Whiners:

To be clear here, I have nothing against prosperous businessmen who live the good life. What I do take exception to is how you ingrates don’t fully appreciate America, a nation where the entire financial system is totally rigged in your favor… where this system lavishes upon you a “too big to fail status”. You, the powerful, are permitted to totally F-up your dirty deals, tank out the global economy and then gleefully laugh your asses off when Uncle Sam… in the role of Robin Hood in reverse… bails you out by shaking down the powerless working poor.

I also take exception to how you’ve accumulated more bucks than you could ever spend in five lifetimes… yet, still refuse to pay even five pennies in taxes.

Wake up call… if, after taxes, you still can enjoy your outrageously opulent lifestyle… just pony up and shut up!

 

Testosterone

 

Bad Boy Politicians, Hollywood Bigwigs and Mass Media Types:

Wake up you vile little boys. Guess what? In reality, healthy interpersonal relationships DO NOT play out like hardcore porn videos… ones that, no doubt, insensitive creeps like you routinely fast forward just to drool over the “money shots”.

Guess what? The male appendage (let’s refer to it as “IT”) is not akin to some sort of key that, on your mere whim, will open every door. “IT” does not act as a magic wand that… upon dropping your drawers and wildly waving it about… will instantly cast a spell that’ll suddenly, somehow, make you irresistible to your targeted, soon-to-be traumatized victims.

Even in the straight, consensual context… from a purely anatomical perspective… “IT” is primarily designed to provide the male pleasure… not the female. In other words Bad Boys… that blows your magic wand theory.

Until you Bad Boys stop objectifying the people you meet… until you first establish genuine friendships that’ll last even if they don’t lead both of you to the bedroom… until you learn to respect humankind… especially womankind… just zip up and shut up!

 

End of Father – Son Chats? Not likely… we are talking about unevolved, little boys trapped in grown men’s bodies… little boys behaving badly… very, Very, VERY BADLY! And, regrettably, that’s a species that’s nowhere even close to becoming endangered.

 

 

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Robotics vs. Psychotics (One Quick Limerick #030)

 

The so-called-prez, Kim Jong-Un, strut and snort,

Rattle their nukes and our nerves just for sport,

Will their demeanor, psychotic,

Prompt intervention, robotic?

Will Earth be visited by Klaatu’s Gort?

 

If you’ve never seen the classic, 1951 Sci-Fi cinematic gem, which inspired the above limerick, you can read all about it over at Wikipedia and/or watch the entire film over at YouTube (regrettably, the images are not centered properly but it’s the only free of charge clip I could locate).

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

OMG! Nuclear Nookie! NSFW! (One Quick Limerick #026)

 

Two cocky, dickheaded, bad little boys,

Whip out their phallic shaped, nuclear toys,

Their talk dirty “foreplay”,

Rubs each other wrong way,

What’s yet to come? Blast offs’ “OMG!” noise?

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

Threats to Nuke Guam OFF the Map Puts it ON the Map?

 

Check out this phone chat between the un-american, so-called prez (#45) and his spooky kindred spirit, Guam Governor Eddie Calvo.

Admittedly, the schoolboy giggle-fest vid… below… even clocking out at a paltry 3:18… is still a YUGE [sic] waste of time. Moreover, who’d even want to watch as both of these jerks verbally “jerk off” each other? But not to worry, you can still scroll down to quickly read a summarizing transcript…

“Eddie, I have to tell you, you’ve become extremely famous. All over the world, they’re talking about Guam, and they’re talking about you, and I think you’re going to get tourism. I can say this, your tourism, you’re going to go up like tenfold with the expenditure of no money, so I congratulate you.”

My reaction…

OMG!!!! Does #45 actually envision everyone eagerly packing their bags and booking flights / Carnival Cruises™? Everyone dying to become sitting ducks, dead center, at a potential nuclear ground zero?

And were North Korea’s Kim Jong-Un to ever launch an attack, does Amerika’s so-called prez fantasize about tourists mindlessly snapping smiley-faced selfies with billowing mushroom clouds as their backdrop? Everyone partying till they puke? Well… if binge boozing wouldn’t be enough to induce “survivors'” vomiting, the radiation sickness certainly would.

True, I cannot speak for everyone, but, with a thermonuclear exchange just one Twitter stormer’s antagonizing Tweet away… so long as we have two enraged, flabby, flaccid hotheaded world “leaders” with their grubby little hands poised over “The Button”… I certainly would NOT be putting Guam at the top of my list of trendy, all the rage hotspots to be visiting.

And, were I someone who called Guam “home sweet home”, any travel plans I’d be making, MOST ASSUREDLY, would be to join the let’s-get-the-F-out-of-here, we-all-had-better-run-for-our lives exodus.

Not since post 9/11 George W. Bush had recommended Americans “Get down to Disney World in Florida. Take your families and enjoy life, the way we want it to be enjoyed” have I ever heard such a greed driven, out of touch with reality, insensitive and blasé attitude.

Of course, the present-day, so-called prez’s state of mindlessness is far worse because the more tourists he encourages to visit Guam, the higher a nuclear war’s death toll would be.

One has to wonder… while the tensions between North Korea and Amerika remain unresolved… will #45 be stupid enough to accept Calvo’s invitation to visit Guam?

 

Grate… Not Great (One Quick Limerick #019)

 

 

Grump bullies non-WASPs / non-straights, spews his hate,

Deems rule of law / liberty second-rate,

In big biz world, he’s a glutton,

He’ll melt down, push “The Button”,

That irritant makes america grate.

 

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

Fire & Fury (One Quick Limerick #018)

 

The man-child’s foreign relations routine,

Vows fire/fury world has never seen,

Sane folks can’t sleep at night,

With Earth’s end now in sight,

Guess it’s in Heaven where we’ll reconvene?

 

 

More original limericks, poetry and lyrics can be accessed by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

Rattle + Prattle = Battle (One Quick Limerick #017)

 

The fools’ nuclear sabers both rattle,

And they spew forth too much mucked up prattle,

With diarrhea of mouth,

Hopes for truce talks could go south,

They’d end up with a mushrooming battle!

 

More original limericks, poetry and lyrics can be accessed by clicking onto my poetry category.