Fortune Cookie Blog (What Wall?)

 

Let us be damned sure to point out the barefaced hypocrisy
of the germ-o-phobe king with a wall fetish; who barebacks
it with porn stars & playmates; who doesn’t have our backs
when it comes down to walling off the deadly coronavirus!

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

What Dumb Donald Hungers For

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences… situations such as…

When Dumb Donald went out with Ellen, he
wanted to impress her; so he ordered in French.
Unfortunately, they were at a _______.

Whoa! For starters, don’t we all miss the element of audience participation, here?
Soooooo… at least in the theatre of the mind, we must rephrase this, thusly…

Rayburn: Dumb Donald was soooooo dumb…
Audience: How dumb was he?
Rayburn: When he went out on a date with
Ellen, to impress her, he ordered in French.
Unfortunately, they were at a _________.

That’s better! Now, as for how Real Donald’s backward emanations had influenced Match Game’s soothsayer writers (on or before episode air date: January 4, 1977), please note how that cad’s date is not named Melania. Obviously we’re witnessing, yet, another open and shut case of marital infidelity. Furthermore, factoring in his penchant for porn stars / playmates, might Ellen be working her butt off in adult films. too?

And, as for any naysayers who’d point out that Real Donald is not bilingual? Well, would it really shock anyone were we to discover he knows a few “fresh” French phrases… you know… the type that might get his face slapped?

Turning our attention, now, to contestant Barbara and the panelists, they, too, appear to be under Real Donald’s influence. Upon the playback of our clip, please note the type of cuisine served up in the eateries, which they manage to “cook up”… i.e., how this ranges from fast food to ethnic fare. Re the latter, they mention nationalities, which that bigot oft belittles.

Well, that just about covers it. All that remains to be seen is our above clip… so… let’s all play Match Game!

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Pathogenic Dealey Plaza?

 

Following the (alleged), lengthy, outward-bound trail of “bread crumbs” extending from the White House to two specific boudoirs, we now know how sufficient funds proved insufficient in silencing a porn star and a Playboy bunny… i.e., could not prevent them from exposing the X-rated (alleged) prez’s (alleged) extramarital hook-ups.

1. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one wonders how a self-proclaimed “stable genius” could ever be caught in flagrante delicto. One would think that, at the very least, he’d be aware of the fact that…

Money Can’t Buy Him Either Love or Silence!

How ironic it is, indeed, how he cannot even properly assess who’s to blame. Hell, all he would ever need to do is gaze adoringly into the nearest mirror. Now, that’s not asking too much from a narcissist… is it? Well… apparently it is.

Instead, we find that his persecution complex, paranoia and arrested development are all acting like a harmful drug interaction… i.e., one that drives him to bogusly brand finger-pointing Democrats and liberals as mudslinging disseminators of “fake news”.

At the risk of over-generalizing… must anyone remind the (alleged) prez that sex industry workers tend to be liberally minded? Such a ‘tude could certainly prove an asset for anyone who bares it all and/or boinks for bucks. Additionally, many of these folks feel the “allure” of porn wages, which far exceed the non-living, minimum wage jobs, which billionaire conservatives purportedly “create”. As such, a nude model / porn star could neither feel any loyalty to the big bucker Donny… nor could he ever expect them to cozy up to the glaring hypocrisy of his publicly, pretending to be a Bible thumper while privately fornicating.

Hmm… to help him atone, perhaps, future mistresses could spank / thump Trump’s rump with a Bible? Uh… BAD IDEA! The Secret Service would first freak out… next categorize that as an assault… and finally rush in to (hopefully secretly) offer up their protection.

2. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one wonders how a self-proclaimed germ-o-phobe could ever overcome his fears long enought to engage in risky, condom-less conduct? BTW, the porn star did claim they had barebacked it! Imagine that… even against the backdrop of an antibiotic / antiviral drug resistant, STD raging pandemic… one that’s inclusive of potentially fatal HIV/AIDS! And, most assuredly, when considering the tenacity and adaptability of most microbes, usage of words, such as FATAL, would not be unwarranted.

3. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… this means he has not only had sex with two women but with every last, damned one of their sex partners… and with every partner those partners have had sex with… and on and on and on.

4. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… how can any medical professional ever claim (with any certainty) that nasty microbes… maybe even some that have yet to be discovered… have not been rotting away his body and (alleged) brain? Indeed, might his reckless, erotic private behavior account for much of his wildly erratic, public behavior?

5. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… what would stop an enemy from using that against him. What if that were to go beyond that (alleged) made-in-Russia pee-pee tape, which Vladimir Putin is (allegedly) using as blackmail? Bad enough… BUT… here’s where the (alleged) prez’s (alleged) promiscuity gets even dicier.

What if, someday, an ISIS type foe were to hire some bioethics barren, recombinant DNA geneticist… ask him/her to tinker with the adenine (A), thymine (T), guanine (G) and cytosine (C) bases… and in the process… cook up a totally new sexually transmitted disease? Let’s say that resultant microbe is fine-tune engineered to be female gender-friendly. Fleshing that diabolical scenario out further, each infected woman would become a totally unharmed carrier fully capable of spreading the disease to each of her totally vulnerable male partners… men who’d, eventually, succumb? Perhaps that pathogen should be named the BlackWidowSpider-18? Or to be more scientifically accurate call it the LatrodectusMactans-18?

6. If the fake prez’s sexploits are, indeed, true… one would hope that his Secret Service protectors are cognizant of the fact that any of his drop-dead-gorgeous women, in actuality, could be in possession of a deeply concealed (as in… invisible to the naked eye), drop-dead caliber weapon. In other words, the fake prez, while tooling down each partner’s “private road”… as it were… could be driving down the pathogenic equivalent of JFK’s 11/22/1963 motorcade drive through Dealey Plaza.

One would expect Secret Service training to be inclusive of such futuristic plots… i.e., so they’d know their protection should be inclusive of confronting and confining a suspected bio-assassin before she had even undone one blouse button… or if things had already gotten down and dirty… to… at the very least… rush in… just in the nick of time… to offer (latex) protection to the prez!

Yeah… I know… I know… I know…

This blog’s already icky subject matter has just gotten even ickier. But… as we all should know… both a Blogger’s and a Secret Service agent’s job can get dirty… but damn it… someone has to do it!

 

 

DANGER! Unsafe Sex! ~ 1 Quick Limerick #057 & #058

 

At safe sex issues, he’s flippin’ off snubber,
He is foolhardy, has brain made of blubber,
He “dates” blond, porn star honeys,
And mates with, Playboy Bunnies,
Yet, wears no “raincoat”, made of latex rubber!

 

Spurned spouse will not hold his hand! She’s astute!
From her boudoir, does she give him the boot?
She knows his flings, with his cuties,
Could spread microbial cooties,
To be prepared, she should buy Hazmat Suit!

 

Yeah… I know… I’ve posted 2 limericks instead of 1. But think of it this way… the marriage of 2 people forms 1 couple AND the risky conduct of 1 can endanger the health… HELL… the very lives of 2.

Additionally… ever since America’s earliest days, presidents have been deemed role models to look up to and admire. Even though this is no longer possible, we can all still learn… that is if we FIRST deem him the perfect example of how NOT to live our lives and NEXT act accordingly.

 

For more limericks (as well as other verses and song parodies, etc.), head over to my “Categories Menu” and select “Poetry”.

 

 

Flushing/Fleshing Out Fantasyland ~ 1 Quick Limerick #049

 

Do fantasies dictate Don’s oft swinging moods?
His hard driven man crush, for dictator dudes?
Does white supremacist crud?
Also “reroute”, his red blood?
Much more than his porn stars, call girls, blue mag nudes?

 

For more limericks (as well as other verses and song parodies, etc.), head over to my “Categories Menu” and select “Poetry”.