BlogCast: Tom’s Top 20 Countdown “2” Christmas: Song 12

 

Today’s featured 1955, holiday novelty classic… (I’m Gettin’) Nuttin’ For Christmas… composed by Sid Tepper and Roy C. Bennett… performed by Art Mooney and His Orchestra with vocalist Barry Gordon… is quite the blast from my past.

As is true with most humans just starting out in life, my younger days were filled with my own “nuttin’ but bad” moments. And, that did test my loving parents’ patience. True, few of my transgressions had ever even come close those acted out by this song’s mischief-maker / future felon. Nevertheless, my folks needed to find creative ways to reason with me… encourage me to conform to more acceptable behavior.

Well, it was during Christmastimes when things became much easier for them… thanks, in part, to this very song. I mean, all Mom and Dad needed to do was play it to remind me that I could easily, first, wind up on Santa’s naughty list and, next, wind up gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas.

While my amateur child psychologist folks usually drove their point home, I do recall one instance where, prior to my cooling it, their playback of this song had quite the opposite effect… had so infuriated me that I had almost considered shattering this vinyl 45 to bits… ALMOST.

Well… I did eventually grow out of my ornery, unreasonable developmental stage. Regrettably, not all of us can make such a claim.

Fast forwarding to a story torn from yesterday’s front page news, I began to feel elated upon learning that Alabama voters… not unlike my parents from so long ago… had found the naughtiness of one of their two U.S. Senatorial candidates, Roy Moore, to be totally unacceptable. By denying him a victory, effectively, they were saying to him:

Roy-boy, since you’ve been so naughty, it’s time for a time out… get out of public life… go stand in the corner. From us, you’ll be gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas this year!

Indeed, even though Moore is an alleged adult, to anyone who can still think for themselves, he did leave the distinct, lasting, negative impression that he’s nuttin’ but a naughty child. A spoiled rotten brat who was… and still is… verging on throwing ceaseless, high decibel level, screeching, whining, kicking, writhing on the floor temper tantrums.

Not surprisingly, considering the holiday season in which this past Tuesday’s special election had taken place… factoring in Roy’s character (or lack thereof) and this election’s outcome… I felt inspired. In a matter of one hour, I had composed s respectable rough draft of my (I’m Gettin’) Nuttin’ For Christmas parody.

DISCLAIMER #1: Of course, on a more serious note… here in America… and as is true in other freedom loving nations spanning our vast world… when suspected of criminal activity, the accused is always presumed innocent until proven guilty… even when one’s multiple accusers are credible.

More to the point…since Moore’s guilt or innocence has yet to be established in any jury trial convened within any court of law, this is the primary reason why you’ll find two question marked lyrics within my parody.

As for the rest of my lyrics, they are based upon many of the not-so-fun facts, which I discovered while reading Moore’s lengthy Wikipedia Bio.

DISCLAIMER #2: As most of us know, Wikipedia’s revisionists occasionally present “here today gone tomorrow” “facts”… ergo, if you choose to follow that link, take whatever you read there (as well as what is to follow below) with a grain of salt.

In other words… my version of (I’m Gettin’) Nuttin’ For Christmas is just for entertainment / infotainment purposes. Enjoy!

 

Roy’s Gettin’ Nuttin’ For Christmas

 

Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
Voters with values were mad,
Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause Roy ain’t been nuttin’ but bad!

Roy yearns for mash-up, church and state,
Smart voters flipped him off,
Roy insists gays must never date,
Smart voters flipped him off,
Roy hates the Free Press, fact based news,
Loathes all Muslims and all Jews,
Swoons for Putin, loves Vlad’s views,
Smart voters flipped him off!

Oh, Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
Voters with values were mad,
Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause Roy ain’t been nuttin’ but bad!

Roy’s views on Darwin: DO NOT teach!
Smart voters flipped him off,
Denies protestors their Free Speech,
Smart voters flipped him off,
With slavery Roy’s on same page,
Stalks, assaults girls, underage???
Counters “NOs”, with beastly rage???
Smart voters flipped him off!

Oh, Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
Voters with values were mad,
Roy’s gettin’ nuttin’ for Christmas,
‘Cause Roy ain’t been nuttin’ but bad!

Roy’s way too naughty, says Saint Nick,
Smart voters flipped Roy off,
Roy’s blue state rival was wise pick,
Smart voters flipped Roy off,
Roy’s far too crooked to go straight,
Good for nuttin’, second rate,
Can’t evolve, NOPE, it’s too late,
Smart voters flipped him off!

COMMON SENSE CONCLUSION:

Mom, save your teen daughters, protect their virtue,
Pop, call the mall cops, whatever you do,
See Roy gets nuttin’ for Christmas!

 

At this time, I’d like to express my gratitude to all who are spending their precious time listening to my “Top 20 Countdown “2” Christmas”… a musical mix featuring spiritual content, social commentary, secular and even some humorous elements. My plan is to get as many of us into the holiday spirit as is possible. Towards that future, I’ll continue presenting my selections… classics all… counting ‘em down one-a-day… from now until we reach #1 on the 25th.

So… be sure to stop back here again… if not daily… schedule your return visits as often as your time permits.

I’d also like to invite you to click back for my regular monthly BlogCast… one that typically features anywhere from 3 to 5 songs that, when segued, transform everything into an appealing theme… this program slated to hit the www “airwaves” on Sunday, December 24, 2017.

 

I now wish you Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays!

 

FYI, my past musical presentations are archived within my BlogCast and music categories.

If you’ve enjoyed this post, don’t forget to like, follow, share and comment.

 

 

They Haven’t Got A Prayer (One Quick Limerick #034)

 

Too many Jekyll and Hyde types today,
Put their “God fearing” facades on display,
But they’re vile rapists / abusers,
Who violate their accusers,
Sexual predators don’t pray, they prey!

 

Lighting the 18th Candle (One Quick Limerick #033)

 

 

Perv cradle-robbers, YOU’RE innocence vandals,
YOU are to blame, NOT your victims, for scandals,
Most statutes document,
There can be NO consent,
If birthday cakes aren’t topped with 18 candles!¹

 

 

¹Some states in America subtract a few of those candles which, regrettably, only further emboldens sexual predators.

Read the story particulars, which inspired this limerick HERE.