Let’s play the Bad News / Good News / Bottom Line game!

 

BAD NEWS: Donald J. Trump is hell bent on defying his own Coronavirus Task Force. That temperamental, money-grubber’s planned noncompliance would pit his own crass, craven political ambitions against the best, science-based advice of the coolheaded, Medical Doctors Jerome Adams (Surgeon General), Anthony S. Fauci, Deborah L. Birx and Robert R. Redfield.

BOTTOM LINE: That avarice driven, corrupt businessman’s deadly intent will prematurely reopen America for biz by relaxing vital to humankind’s survival, social distancing / isolation protocols.

GOOD NEWS: Since, all along, it’s been the Governors who’ve been shutting down their respective states, only they can reopen the homeland.

BOTTOM LINE: Good Governors might outwit an Evil Nitwit.

BAD NEWS: It would not be beyond the Narcissist / Terrorist Trump to punish each governor who flat-out refuses to kiss his ass / knuckle under to his deadly demands.

BOTTOM LINE: Such Trumpian retribution would likely involve his heartless plot to cut off financial and medical aid earmarked for the plague states. For hundreds of thousands…. maybe even tens of millions… of Coronavirus stricken and sickened Americans that would mean needless suffering for some… premature, pointless death for others.

GOOD NEWS: That latter group will be cured of their Coronavirus infections and freed from Trumpian tyranny.

BOTTOM LINE: They’ll be cordially invited to attend that Big Family Reunion in the Sky

BAD NEWS: Coronavirus Round II… akin to the 2nd Shot Heard Around The World… will reassert itself with a vengeance.

BOTTOM LINE: Best case scenario? Humankind will wind up an endangered species. Worst case scenario? We’ll go extinct.

GOOD NEWS: My worst fears nearly never come true. Posting them on the www, might even be setting myself up for the embarrassment of being proven dead wrong.

BOTTOM LINE: I could live with that. And so could you.

 

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery. Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover our coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

 

 

 

 

The potty humor begins… after this commercial message…

Welcome to our Vid of the Day and greetings / kudos to all of you, who, like me, have been heeding the epidemiologists’ best advice to end the Coronavirus Pandemic… i.e., by hunkering down / social distancing / self-isolating / self-quarantining. If we hang tough, humanity will emerge the victors. In a sense, we, the conscientious civilians, will become the unsung, conquering heroes of this dread disease.

While this does qualify as a sobering moment in human history, it does not necessitate sacrificing our collective sense of humor.

To be sure, this microbial mess has not been without its ludicrous moments… i.e., our bearing witness to the heavily into hoarding mode consumers… in particular… those who’ve been selfishly and needlessly creating an artificial, toilet paper shortage. Admittedly, upon my being recently, suddenly stunned by my local supermarket’s empty shelves… I did nearly start to LOL. However… the levity of the moment did level off, considerably, upon my realization that folks, who really did need to buy T.P., would be S.O.L. Butt… But to get back onto my main topic…

Actual potty humor can likely trace its origins back to the very first unsuspecting hunter / gatherer who had the misfortune of [1] entering a Serengeti grassland that was loaded with partially hidden, animal dung and [2] upon accidentally stepping into it, losing traction, slipping, falling, and winding up face-down in a pile of poop. One can practically hear the eruption of his peers’ guffaws… their, perhaps, subsequent rehashing of this incident, while seated around the dinner hour campfire… the communal, uproarious laughter cast upon the cool night breezes and carried off into the moonlit wilderness.

And… from that day forward the jokes just kept on coming… e.g…

Q. What’s brown and sounds like a bell?
A: DUNG!¹

Q: What does the Enterprise and Toilet paper have in common?
A: They both circle Uranus wiping out Klingons.²

Of course, some creative comedians do add a tad of sophistication within their doo-doo / potty humor. Such content will be clearly evident upon viewing a vintage Carol Burnett Show clip… uh… following this classic commercial message…

To all who’ve stopped by on this day, I wish you well! To all who are ailing, my hopes and prayers for a full, speedy recovery.

Please stay safe by continuing to heed the following common sense, disease fighting advice…

[1] Practice good hygiene (scrub hands often at least 20 seconds), [2] Cover our coughs and sneezes, [3] Avoid touching eyes, nose and mouth, [4] Social distancing (remain 2 meters / 6 feet apart [5] avoid large crowds or (ideally) just stay at home and [6] if ill, self quarantine.

• Listen to the learned leaders who fully embrace time-honored scientific principles.

• Ignore the ignorance of the avaricious who elevate monetary matters over moral values.

 

 

 

Classic Comedy Attribution:

¹Monty Python’s Flying Circus

²Source Unknown