What Makes a Man a Man?

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Today, let’s start off with a multiple choice, fill-in-the-blanker…

If you hang around a particular, video sharing platform for more than three minutes, tops, you’re bound to bump into an oddball who’s “occupation” is best described as _________:

  • A. adman
  • B. madman
  • C. nadman
  • D. all the above

If you chose “D”, go to the head of the class.

Typically, his insufferable ads begin with him spilling his spiel…

“Testosterone is what makes a man a man.”

Typically, his “well duh” “revelation” triggers my recollection of an apt, bygone, screenplay retort…

“Geeze, you figured that out Sherlock.”

Actor Jack Lemmon • Character John Gustafson • From film Grumpy Old Men

Seriously, what middle school graduate wouldn’t already know that?

This nameless dude (Hey, let’s call him Sherlock) actually considers himself to be some sorta leading authority on… on…

Well, while I won’t aid and abet his con by working his side of the street, suffice to say, he’s been doing his damnedest to sucker in gullible, roly-poly, past middle age guys, who’ve been “hanging” around whatever love nest(s) they’ve been frequenting.

Anyway, Sherlock appears oblivious to how his speaking with authority is only coming across as off-putting arrogance. And, seeing how he neither trots out a medical degree nor, bare minimum, dons a white lab coat, it’s highly unlikely he’s a qualified physician or even a dietician.

Oh, by the bye, his on cam attire is way too dress casual. He’s nearly in the buff (topless) (and no buff bodybuilder is he).

Truth be told, a Saturday Night Live, hilarious send-up could not upstage what he does in dead seriousness.

To keep it all real, Sherlock has been manufacturing a solution to a problem that’s a non-problem. Stripping this down to the bare-bones, Mother Nature prefers her procreators to be physically fit and under age 40. And therein is the main reason why she slows 40+ guys down.

Yeah, sure, most couples do know that it’s not always about making babies; that there’s nothing intrinsically wrong with people staying active up till the very end.

Yet, Ma Nature would disagree.

Going beyond that, the way Sherlock demeans the male gender is offensive to me. I do consider myself more than a “Y” chromosome.

In spite of that, what’s truly astounding, here, is how Sherlock has, actually, inadvertently, sleuthed the very, driving force that, from time immemorial, has hammered in needless, incalculable human suffering; the bloody, no-win wars, torture, sexual violence, enslavement, ethnic cleansing, persecution, hyperpartisanship, workplace posturing, road rage, anti-maskism, anti-vaxxism, Trumpism, etc.:

“Testosterone is what makes a man a man.”

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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It’s ALL UnSustainable! (Parable)

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Once upon a time, in the Land of Opportunity, there lived Arthur Artisan, a post-global-apocalypse-era job hunter, consumed by both anxiousness and exhilaration. While, for him, such seemingly at-odds emotional ingredients did feel downright counterproductive (and rather unnerving, too), his conflicted state of mind could hardly be deemed unique.

Would that not be experienced by most anyone, who’s about to reenter and retest the reawakening work-a-day-world waters? Who’s simultaneously able to entertain a keen awareness of having found one’s true vocation?

Fortunately, for chef-wannabe Arthur, he’d been able to table such fruitless drama. Long parable sort, he had no sooner begun circulating copies of his cleverly crafted résumé, completing job applications and interviews, than, tout de suite, came the big pay off! The personnel manager singing out those magical lyrics, “You’ve got the job!”, had, most assuredly, been music to this new-hire’s ears!

And, this was no ordinary entry level job, either. Quite unexpectedly, his yet-to-be, real-world-tested, culinary training had already earned him the prestigious title of Head Chef, no less!

A mere 24 hours later, he found himself donning his tall white toque; toiling within the three specialized kitchens of a swanky, five-star eatery. And, in short order, via his superbly created/plated delectable dishes, and courtesy of word of mouth props from his 600, newfound, loyal patrons, almost overnight, he’d become renown, far and wide.

The massive influx of hourly phoned reservations both delighted the maitre d’ and worked him to a frazzle. During each hectic day, of these 600, approximately 200 ravenous diners (typically 40 parties of 5) would show up.

But, alas, that success, in itself, had become the fly in the ointment. And, ahem, Arthur did sigh his relief that this was only metaphorically speaking; not some actual, drowning in the soup, disgusting, winged, buzzing bug.

Yet, in less time than it had taken to set his sighs aside, the real bugaboo had managed to float to the top.

And that took on the form of Arthur’s big boss, Tasman Taskmaster, whose utterly unwise business strategy was to severely curtail food prep time; thereby permitting Arthur only 5 scant minutes per hungry patron. Talk about Fast Food! YIKES!!! That Mr. Taskmaster hadn’t hired another chef or two could be attributed to his also being an overhead obsessing tightwad (the details of which are best left bused to another parable, another day).

Anyhoo, tout de suite, Arthur’s “OH NO” moment of truth had arrived. Nary one doubt, he was working for the proverbial sweatshop whip cracker from Hell.

Sadly, it had been the sheer elementary school mathematics, which powered the driving force behind this 5-Minute Rule; that is, what was driving Big Boss to slave drive his Head Chef. To crunch that bean counter’s numbers.

200 diners X 5 mins prep time per diner = 1,000 mins burned up daily (16 hrs 40 mins to be exact).

So much for the 8 hr workday, huh? So much for the recommend 8 hr sleep cycle, too!

There simply was no time for Arthur to lead an active, healthy social life outside of his workplace; hell schlep thru any existence at all! No time to complete household chores, tend to property upkeep, to even do his own laundry and grocery shopping. Hell, he’d have probably starved to death were it not for his sampling the food he was preparing and his scarfing down the shift’s end leftovers, which were (unforgivably) destined for the dumpsters.

Seeing too, how his own career was dumpster bound, Arthur Artisan took a hike and took his talents elsewhere.

The End?

Our Parable’s Primary Moral:

Life is too damned short for anyone to waste away within any toxic environment

Our Parable’s Secondary Moral:

Everything will begin to coalesce upon our comparing Arthur’s unenviable vocational woes and far from ideal workplace conditions / expectations to society’s typical Social Network Platforms; indeed, the very one you and I stand atop as I type, you read.

Localizing that more to my own blogging avocation, it’s been my regularly posted content, which has attracted nearly 600 followers. The bugaboo, here, is how my staying meaningfully connected to even one third (200) of them would inflict fictional Arthur’s identical time constraints on real Tom’s real world life. In other words, I don’t have 16 hrs 40 mins each day to fully savor every mega-talented blogger’s content; to post meaningful props in their comment sections re their oft entertaining narratives, spectacular poetry and overall, sheer artistry.

And, I’d be remiss not to mention how my doing so would leave me no time to compose/post my own content.

Beyond that, just how, pray hell, do bloggers who boast 10K, 100K and even 1 Million followers, ever manage to stay connected? I’d challenge each of them to, without peeking, name them all by screen name!

Beyond beyond that, I curse that math that hath morphed me into an unresponsive, almost non-member of the WordPress Community.

My sincere apologies to all, who I had never ever intended to snub, yet, nonetheless, still did.

Alas… long sigh… today’s headline doth sum up, succinctly, the paradoxical, anti-social nature of so-called social network life:

It’s ALL UnSustainable!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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What Are YOU Saying?

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This chat takes a glimpse at some social network conduct that doesn’t make much sense to me.

Btw, the available software does lead me down a dark path; but, to keep this in the “glass half full” range, I’ll reserve addressing that aspect for another blog, another day.

So, to do some friendly fishing (not phishing), allow me to cast my line…

Since last November, I’ve attracted well over 100 followers; many of whom have been invariably focusing their attention / registering their Likes re approximately 10 out of my nearly 1,800 blogs; for the most part, the writing I posted around the December 2020 holidays. Perhaps the pandemic is making our letting go of that special time of year more difficult? I dunno.

Anyway, not being one to ever complain about any positive feedback, nonetheless, I’ve gotta ask…

Why hasn’t as much as one person scrolled down to the comment section to key in as much as a “Hello!” or briefly mention why they’re following? What they’ve found likeable?

Conversely speaking, would it be wise to conclude that my more recent writing sucks?

C’mon folks, I’m a big boy. I can even withstand criticism; on the condition that it’s courteous and constructive.

To keep it real, the cold calculating, WordPress analytics page simply does not cut it. As is true with most bloggers, I deem the more human approach, the comment section input, to be vital. Without it, I can neither grow as a writer nor adequately gauge what content might grow my site.

Again, not grousing; just saying.

More to the point…

What are YOU saying?

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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Fortune Cookie Blog (Dodo Doo-Doo)

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Whenever harmful, hateful, hurtful, hoax loaded content rears its ugly head
in the form of Tweets, it’s akin to posters baring their ugly rear ends; taking
dumps in public. Seeing how both indecent exposure and public defecation
are against the law, when Twitter bans such violators of their Terms of Use,
it is to always promote ordinary decency; not impose inordinate censorship!

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

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Fortune Cookie Blog (v-reality’s realities)

 

Consider the marvels of the vast World Wide Web; the repository of
human knowledge; the bastion of free speech and press; the meeting
place of humanity; the window to wonders natural and human-made;
the town square of commerce. Consider, too, our connection’s fragile
thread. We’re but ONE conniving oppressor’s flick of the Internet Kill
Switch away from debilitating, demoralizing, asphyxiating isolation.