Fortune Cookie Blog (What Wall?)

 

Let us be damned sure to point out the barefaced hypocrisy
of the germ-o-phobe king with a wall fetish; who barebacks
it with porn stars & playmates; who doesn’t have our backs
when it comes down to walling off the deadly coronavirus!

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dumb Real Donald Plays Post Office

From 1973 – 1982, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever / clairvoyant Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences.

Normally, I’d be introducing a Dumb Donald clip, but seeing how my demand has nearly exhausted YouTube’s supply, it’ll now be incumbent upon me to breathe new life into this concept. To do so, I’ve been simulating, semi-serious seances ISO head-to-head matches with those dearly departed Match Game souls. And methinks I’ve not been departing the spirit world alone. In fact, the entity within is now surfacing… everything is spinning… like this…

Greetings contestants! I’m M.C. Grayburn. Match Game 20-20’s new rules are straightforward. Each contestant has one chance to match as many of our six, predetermined responses as possible. You’ll be playing for a priceless grand prize… the confirmation that you’re still a clearheaded, critical thinking non-consumer of the odious Orange Man’s Kool-Aid™.

If your responses do not match, YET, prove more clever than Match Game’s (which is highly likely) you can still win by posting your own witty / wise alternatives in the comment section! That said, let’s play Match Game 20-20!

Grayburn: The Playing Post Office
Dumb Real Donald is soooooo dumb…
Audience: How dumb is he?
Grayburn: he broke all the rules to _______.

Once we click playback to start the “think music”, you’ll have 75 seconds to figure out your responses… and no peeking beneath the turquoise hued, rectangular partition!

The Playing Post Office Dumb Real Donald
is so dumb, he broke all the rules to _______

1. Make out with and fog up his bathroom mirror
2. Smooch Vladimir Putin’s ass
3. Lock lips with USPS Post Master General Louis DeJoy
4. Screw Lady Liberty & Mother Nature to death
5. Date Ivanka
6. Grab Stormy Daniels

My thanks to all who showed up to play today! M.C. Grayburn for Match Game 20-20!
Good-Bye and be sure to Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Art Imitates Life! NSFW!

 

Other than on my homepage, the Stick-Figure Narcissist Fascist… below… who needs no further introduction… will not likely appear aligned center and orange hued, as intended! NOPE, nowhere else on the www! So, who is he?

There are ample clues. Note his mangy question-mark hairdo, “deer caught in the headlights” expression / vacuous eyes, yuge never shut pie-hole, two middle fingered tiny hands, man boobs, corpulent belly, considerable ass and… sparing no detail… per Stormy’s testimonial… his inadequate “junk”.

Seeing how virtually everything he says and does is the embodiment of obscenity and poor taste… well… an “artist’s” rendering… no matter how abstract… must faithfully capture everything.

 

???
(õõ)
(ö)
ò~~(∞)~~ó
((Q))
// ω \\
//       \\
//          \\

 

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dumb Donald: South of the Border

 

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences… situations such as…

“Dumb Donald was so dumb. He didn’t have an air conditioner,
so, to keep cool, he stuck a ________ down his pants.”

So, what’s the Dumb Donald / Real Donald connection?

Both are embroiled in too hot to handle summers as well as… ahem… to phrase this decorously… dealing with painful, south of the border issues.

RE the Real Donald’s long hot summer… his dual DIY projects find him obsessing over statues that wrongfully glorify bigoted traitors to America and deploying hotheaded goons squads to trample the 1st Amendment Rights of the Black Lives Matter demonstrators who, rightfully so, have been toppling the fake prez’s monuments to stupidity. Meanwhile, his neglected, raging out of control pandemic has resulted in skyrocketing the fevers of his COVID-19 victims.

RE the Real Donald’s deep south, not so hot nether regions… well… for the details… let’s check out Jimmy Kimmel’s interview with Stephanie Clifford. I’ve cued up this (rewindable) 10:42, NSFW Linked Clip to start at 7:56.

Re our Match Game clip… we can only hope that the Real Donald never catches wind of these panelists’ bygone responses… I mean… he’s just Dumb enough to actually try what, they claim, the Fake Dumb Donald did.

Well, it’s high time we scroll up and hit that playback button… discover how many celebs, contestant Kathy is able to match…

 

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RU really, Really, REALLY DYING to attend THAT Rally?

 

Let’s check out the latest poop on the big time Germ-O-Phobe Donny, the science denier and magical thinker, who had originally and erroneously claimed that [1] the COVID-19 “scare” was a Democrat Hoax, [2] this disease’s then known 15 cases would soon be down to ZERO and [3] the Pandemic would be all over… TA-DA… by the end of April!

These days, when the Trumpster isn’t hunkering down in his bunker, night and day, his medico feverishly tests, Tests, TESTS everyone, who comes within a micron of breaching Bunker Boy’s White House Bubble!

Hmm, perchance has Donny, who failed, big time, to act promptly, proactively and purposefully to thwart COVID-19, finally begun to appreciate the seriousness of the coronavirus crisis of his own making?

Not likely.

That praise junkie, ISO of his adulation fix, is just about ready to go quacking and waddling about his COVID-19 mucked up world and campaign trail. Seeing how that cad, notorious for hobnobbing and hanging out with porn stars and playmates, sans protection, will also be stumping mask-less, one wonders…

• Just how safe will that Germ-O-Phobe be feeling?

• How safe will the legions of his rally attending, sycophantic, sicko suckers be feeling?

Well, true to little wittle Donny’s “it’s all about me” attitude, he’s so “concerned” for the health and well-being of his voter base that he’s insisting they read and agree to the terms of his Rally Warning Label. Check this out…

“By clicking register below, you are acknowledging that an inherent risk of exposure to COVID-19 exists in any public place where people are present. By attending the Rally, you and any guests voluntarily assume all risks related to exposure to COVID-19 and agree to not hold Donald J. Trump for President, Inc.; BOK Center; ASM Global; or any of their affiliates, directors, officers, employees, agents, contractors, or volunteers liable for any illness or injury.”

REGISTER

Seeing how his fans are always dying to see see their Fascist idol… in the flesh… all 227kgs / 500lbs of his jiggly, flabby Fascist flesh… it’s entirely possible that his disclaimer’s first four words, “By clicking register below” will instantaneously prompt them to click on “REGISTER” sans reading the rest of Trump’s Terms. The consequences will be grave…

• The fake prez will not only be firing up his base, he’ll also be fanning the flames of a COVID-19 wildfire.

• His fans will soon be dying.

• Future campaign rally attendees will be those who’ve “only” been sickened by COVID-19.

• Hmm… just how safe will the mask-less Donald J. Trump feel when, his massive crowd’s roar gets replaced by the sound of everyone coughing up their diseased lungs?

 

 

 

 

 

In the Eye of the Storm(y)? (One Quick Limerick #043)

 

Did porn star Stormy, “prez” Don, both disrobe?
Is the fake prez a for real germ-o-phobe?
He says he fears all infection?
She says he wore no protection?
Were both exposed to brain rotting microbe?

 

This alleged roll in the hay went down approximately one dozen years ago… which would be more than enough time for some undiscovered, untreated, end stage STD to reprogram his alleged mind with chaos, churlishness and capriciousness. Or was he just born that way?

If any of you readers out there have any other diagnoses, type them out in the comment box below.

 

FYI… you can access archived limericks, poems, and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

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