Clear as a Bell (A.G.)

`

Preface: It is quite telling how the posting of these very words got delayed, substantially, by tech woes. Here’s the rub…

I live… no… strike that… I exist within a hard-to-believe-this-is-actually-America, tech dead zone; the Land of the Modem’s “light show”, which defiantly blinks red and videos chronically buffer; The Land of the Landline that’s frequently awash with static.

Obviously, red indicators rarely mean ready and raring to go and, clearly, crackling noises are not especially conducive to Clear as a Bell (as in Alexander Graham) conversations.

Factoring in my past drive thru my hometown, it didn’t take me long to troubleshoot…

Part of the Problem… to spot the non-perpendicular, rotting wooden utility poles, strung out with sagging wires. Even more YIKES-worthy, in one case, with nowhere to re-connect the cable, the overwhelmed line technician merely opted to coil it up; to hang it all up (literally and metaphorically); i.e. head back to punch out the time clock and then head off to happy hour to tie one on.

Even critters are too smart to risk life and limb with this infrastructure. Our feathered friends rarely roost / hang out there (be they buzzards, sparrows, or anything in between). As for our furry friends, no pooch would dare to lift his leg there!

Additional Part of the Problem… My alleged Internet Service Provider has a drastically different idea as to what terminology to loosely assign to their disingenuous I – S – P acronym. To e.g. that…

  • I = Inter Net (as in bury)
  • S = Service (only the CEO)
  • P = Promptly bilk / bill Patsies

Indeed, scant days ago, this Patsy promptly paid the monthly bill they had so promptly sent me; all in good faith; i.e., going on the (overly optimistic) assumption that their recent hefty rate hike would wind up prudently targeting their crumbling infrastructure.

In other words, not to further feather the nest of their CEO, who I’ve aptly dubbed Mister Magpie. And it’s a sure bet we’d never discover Mr. M perched atop any of his crummy cables.

Why Magpie?

As we know, magpie, as defined by the New Oxford American Dictionary, is “a person who chatters idly” and, as for chatter, that means “to talk rapidly or incessantly about trivial matters.”

Yep, all in all, that sums up, yet, one more…

Critical Part of the Problem… namely, we, the bill payer patsies, are dealing with communications specialist cons who can only clearly communicate, to us, concisely, how greedy they’ve been, still are, and shall remain forever.

`

`

`

Be people Vaxxed OR Unvaxxed, We
can still shed and spread the batcrap
crazy contagious coronavirus which,
in turn, spawns new variants; which,
in turn, could, eventually, render the
available vaccines worthless; which,
in turn, will drag out the pandemic’s
needless suffering, illness and death!

HENCE… this easy as pie, cover your
nose and pie-hole/hole-up heads-up:

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

`

`

The Land of Opportunity; LOST

`

Just yesterday, while blogging away this pandemic era’s wee hours, my Internet connection went AWOL, again; this time out, just as my virtual, clicking finger was poised over the aqua hued, WordPress “publish button”.

Well, rather than rushing thru a manual re-connection, I allowed my router to engage its auto-reboot function; all the while delivering my muttered pep talk to A-I: “C’mon, red light, turn true blue!” (all to no avail).

With the recalcitrant tech gremlin giddily turning its deaf ear to me, I soon found myself leaning back on my sofa, eyes closed, drifting in and out of dreamland; waiting for my brain to go into auto-reboot mode, too. Well, at least, that’s how I view the realm of REM sleep.

Fortunately, my unconscious mind’s counseling session helped me better connect to my life as it truly is; arrive at this first waking moment conclusion:

My existence within this godforsaken tech desert, is truly emblematic of existence within Michigan as a (w)hole.

Michigan: The Land of Opportunity; LOST

I suddenly began comparing my life to that of my very first WordPress follower; best described as a kindred spirit; how his life and times in California, had afforded him the very creative paths Michigan, invariably, had (has) denied me,

Oh how I wish my father had taken Horace Greeley’s “Go West, young man!” wisdom to heart; made better use of his teaching degree by seeking out the California public school houses. Had he done so…

Suffice to say / safe to say, I believe the Golden State would’ve been my golden opportunity; afforded me a far better chance to lead the life I never had.

I can only imagine what it’d be like to not be languishing in Michigan; squandering my writing, broadcasting and musical talents. And even were such a self-assessment invalid, at the very least, I’d have found more doors to knock on.

I can only wonder how different life, elsewhere, would’ve been.

  • How many novels would I have authored and published?
  • At what radio stations would I have hung my FCC license?
  • Would my keyboard skills have rocked me onto the stage?
  • Would I have met the love of a lifetime and married her?
  • Would we have considered going the parenthood route?
  • Would we be co-authoring memoirs of our life and times?

Inevitably, some will wisely point out that my shelf life might extend outward, as far as 2041. But, such an invisible, bar coded time stamp is merely quantitative. The qualitative perspective would suggest otherwise.

Lest anyone forget, the unforgiving light of our youth and beauty obsessed culture tends to blind potential employers.

Beyond that, how does one safely walk life’s path set against the backdrop of a global pandemic? Who knows how much longer the vaccines’ efficacy will last? How much more microbial crud remains within Corona-V’s dirty bag of tricks? How much of it “he” has yet to hurl at humanity?

`

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

`

`

`

`