Unimpeachable Conduct? (1 Quick Limerick #094)

 

Daft Don will rant and rave, Tweet, bleat and bellow,
That he was the “perfect”, phone call, placing fellow?
Yet, transcript facts do belie,
That conman’s contrived alibi,
His contempt of Congress, cloaks his belly, yellow.

 

 

 

 

 

I would like you to do us a favor, though (Take 2)

One of the problems with Donald J. Trump’s trying to shake down Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky, is this issue does not resonate well with average Americans… i.e., it does not “hit home” close enough.

Seeing how Robert Mueller left it up to Congress to punish Trump for hobnobbing with Russians, and how Donny assumed (correctly) that nobody would dare to even try, he also took that to mean that he could do whatever he damned pleases. To that end… in no time flat… he was on the phone with Zelensky.

Now, seeing how he’ll likely wind up Impeached by House Democrats and Exonerated by Senate Republicans… well… he WILL Quid Pro Quo again… and Again… AND AGAIN.

And let’s say his next dirty deal (attempt at extortion) does hit home… and hit hard, the average people (like you and me). Check out this sadistic, domestic, purely HYPOTHETICAL scenario…

PREFACE: Meet the pharmaceutical pioneer, Doctor Adam Zellweger (no relation to actor Renée) who, following decades of painstaking research and clinical trials on volunteer human test subjects, has discovered the most efficacious drug ever conceived by humankind… i.e., the miracle medicine that’ll instantaneously wipe all Cancer off the face of the Earth. The FDA is mere moments away from approving this wonder drug when…

Donny, ravenous for campaign dollars (to fund the unconstitutional bid for his 2032 reelection), picks up the phone to make his congratulatory call to Zellweger.

Trump: I’m calling to applaud you Dr. Zellweger. What you’ve done is tremendous, almost as tremendous as my attracting the largest applauding Inauguration Day crowds in American History in 2017, 2021, 2025 and 2029. Now, I do know you’re still in need of FDA approval for your tremendous drug… and I do have the power to speed up that process.… but… uh… I would like you to do us a favor though.

Zellweger: And what might that be?

Trump: Initially, you are to donate a $100 million lump sum to my campaign, so I can run for a tremendous fifth term as your tremendous president. And then, once you get FDA approval, once the billions of bucks start rolling in, I’ll start siphoning off your profits. Now, as your tremendous president and benefactor, I believe my tremendous services to you… my yuge influence in this matter… is worthy of a split of the profits… oh… say… 90/10.

Zellweger: So, let me get this straight. No FDA approval till I agree to your terms? I’ll bet that 90% will be your cut, too, huh?

Trump: Take it or leave it Doctor Z.

Zellweger: Do you realize that your causing the FDA to drag its heels will subject millions of cancer patients to needless agony and death?

Trump: Hey, that’d be all your fault, not mine. To save their lives, all you need do is do us that favor.

Well, my readers, what if Dr. Z opts not to knuckle under to Trump’s pressure? And what if, someday, it will be you, me or one of our loved ones lying, crying and dying in that hospice bed?

Today’s hypothetical scenario could easily become tomorrow’s life or death, reality show.

Such a story amply demonstrates why a House Impeachment and a Senate Conviction / Ouster is in order… and long overdue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fireside Chat’s Soot

 

So… what the hell is Donald J. Trump up to now? Well, looky here, he’s plotting to re-purpose the concept of FDR’s folksy, fatherly Fireside Chats. Yep, via a live TV broadcast, he intends to prove his innocence by reading, aloud, from that now infamous White House generated, “MEMORANDUM OF TELEPHONE CONVERSATION“.

How astoundingly ironic! This is the very document, which affords us the juicy details to the fake prez’s perfectly wrong “perfect phone call”… a.k.a. Donny’s quid pro quo, 07/25/2019, shake down of Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky.

One would think that, by now, the Trumpster’s brain trust and/or wranglers would’ve reminded him that, strictly from the Fascist’s perspective, such fireplace flames are only suitable for one thing… burning up the body of truth (soon followed by the burying of the cremains).

Yet, here we find the fake prez actually believing he can chat himself out of trouble? True, he just might succeed if, in actuality, this is all leading up to his plea of insanity.

Beyond the ideological and legal aspects, let’s factor in the aesthetics… namely… Donny simply is not the fatherly, folksy type. Hell, had he been my father, I’d have run away from home as soon as I had learned to walk. Come to think of it, to escape such a toxic parental unit, I’d have even crawled as fast as my hands and knees could go.

Anyway, it’s way above the Trumpster’s pay-grade to even attempt to reassure and comfort us. No amount of his thick, dense, politically expedient, fireplace soot can ever hide his corruption and culpability.

Beyond that? A Fireside Chat does no good when it could only showcase Trump’s insufferable, undignified, unprofessional  whimpering and whining… his droning on and on and on… about his perfectly wrong, perfectly self-incriminating, perfectly worthy of impeachment “perfect phone call”.