Fortune Cookie Blog (Free Elections?)


IF a dense, defiant, dickhead dictator ever decided to dick up
free elections to disenfranchise voters; thereby denying them
their right to cast ballots that would boot his butt out of office,
THEN they’d have no other choice but to


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En garde Corona-V!


En garde Corona-V! En masse, we, who are enlightened, yet, bristling with justifiable enmity, hereby declare you Public Enemy #1. You, who endanger human life must never endure! We will endorse, enable and energize our finest minds; encourage them and their entourages to endeavor, around the clock, to enforce all applicable scientific laws. Under the strictness of laboratory controls, they will safely encounter / engage you; encroach upon your filthy turf until they discover how best to encumber and encapsulate you! On the very last pandemic tombstone, we’ve already engraved your name. We will bury you, not vice versa! End of story!


Till then… Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!







Two Match Games’ Head to Head Match

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

Sadly, Gene Rayburn’s most popular incarnation of Match Game (1973 – 82), eventually, met an untimely death, mostly due to (likely avoidable) circumstances that had been beyond the control of the program’s bigshots.

Alas… Mr. Rayburn and his original panelist regulars… Brett Somers, Charles Nelson Reilly and Richard Dawson… along with staff announcer, Johnny Olson, have all since left us. One can only hope that their Earthly, witty personalities and heady chemistry live on in eternity… that these qualities have also made for a perfect, head to head match with their Maker.

In other words… what we speak of are five Matches Made in Heaven.

Fortunately, we now have a match made on Earth, too.

Since 2016, emcee Alec Baldwin and his writers… the kindred spirits of Rayburn and his clairvoyant writers… have been wittily building upon that bygone game show’s sturdy foundation, inclusive of updating the original, fake Dumb Donald.

Yes indeed, Real Dumb Donald scenarios play out regularly.

And, to be sure, panelist Rosie O’Donnell and her ongoing social media war with the Real Donald, can only add to the hilarity.

So, with all of these above-mentioned, up in heaven matters now duly noted, let’s scroll up to view our clip.


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The Only Game in Town!

The pandemic, which has noticeably quieted our human hubbub, has certainly created a far more inviting, critter-friendly habitat… inclusive of my own backyard (which, btw, is situated less than 0.8km from a small forest). Case in point…

Today, mid-afternoon, I spotted a small furry visitor, which, most assuredly, was not one of the countless rabbits who, since this past February, have successfully set up housekeeping within the immediate vicinity.

Anyway, this critter’s vision must’ve been impaired, seeing how she (or was it a he?) could not spot me directly behind my patio door… not even when we were “socially distanced” at a mere 0.6 of a meter! Or maybe the screen and reflective glass was sufficient to render me invisible?

Whatever the case, remaining out of sight and at a close vantage point, had afforded me the opportunity for comprehensive study… in particular… to ascertain the exact species (my hypothesis being either a wolverine or woodchuck). Fortunately, my Funk and Wagnalls encyclopedia includes fine photography of both.

However, it wasn’t until I had read about the differing fur lengths and my visitor struck a standing up pose (just like in one of the photos) that I became reasonably certain that this small short-haired mammal is a woodchuck.

However as for what purpose Woody was visiting me? I could only guess. Perhaps it was wood chips still remaining from three recent tree stump grinding projects? Well, apparently, wood would not be on the menu.

All the sudden, there came ol’ Woody lumbering (more like waddling) in hot… more like tepid… pursuit of its intended prey… the far faster, fleeing for its life, panic-stricken chipmunk (belated apologies to both for my being gender unspecific).

As for my post game analysis of this small game hunting expedition… pandemic edition…

I’d say the chipmunk should feel damned lucky that ol’ Woody had not been schooled by my neighborhood’s feline mousers… the veritable clowder of cats… who are always on the prowl, too. From what I’ve seen, their laid-back, stalk and capture techniques seem to be damned near close to 100% successful. In other words, neighborhood mice don’t stand a chance.

As for my op-ed… pandemic sports edition…

Seeing how the coronavirus crisis has already sidelined most fall season, collegiate and professional sports… and factoring in how the animal world has been routinely reclaiming suburban… even urban… areas… perhaps the TV sports networks need to dispatch their play by play announcers and full camera crews into my neck of the woods. It’d appear that…

I’ve got the only game in town!


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The Power of 1


Is it possible for 1 person to effect positive, widespread, enduring, societal change?

Maybe even save humanity, itself?

If yes, how difficult an endeavor would it be?

Well, my blogging compatriots, we do stand upon a sturdy global platform. Here, @WordPress, alone, we are 60 million strong! What I’m about to propose would be quite EZ, too. So, why not give it a whirl? To e.g. that…

I end most of my posts with…

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IF that 1, mere message were to win over… oh… say… 1 reader… just 1 reader… convince her/him to consistently conform to these life saving pandemic protocols…

THEN, (s)he’d represent 1 life saved.

Naturally, once we factor in how that 1 person would remain uninfected and, as such, not be infecting others… who’d be infecting others… who’d be infecting others… well you get the idea.

By now, most of us know about the alarming ease of COVID-19 transmission. With that in mind, it’d not be an overstatement to claim that 1 blogger… just 1 blogger… opening the mind of 1 person… just 1 person… could save tens of thousands of lives… and more to the point…

We could help end 1 helluva pain in the ass pandemic!

My recommendation… regardless of what blogging platform we stand upon… each time we post… and in a manner consistent to each of our blogging styles… let’s all promote pandemic safety protocols.

Let’s hope our 1, unified message can spread, worldwide, faster than COVID-19.

At the risk of repeating myself…

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!








Find Something New?

Internet Forum threads do risk getting overlooked.

Case in Point: YouTube commentator Margret Q’s gem…

“I cannot tell a lie.” – George Washington
“I cannot tell the truth.” – Donald Trump
“I cannot tell the difference.” – Trump voter

If this is Ms. Q’s intellectual property, she must repurpose this text as a bumper sticker and/or billboard sign.

All she’d need to add is…

Elect Joe Biden / Kamala Harris

A brilliant Bumper Sticker / Signage career awaits you, Ms. Q!

Hmm.. what a shame my pep talk will wind up overlooked, too. This could’ve added a bit of depth to the two-dimensional Ivanka Trump’s insipid, let’em eat cake, jewel encrusted, “find something new”, window dressing message to the masses.


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Is today the day?


Human vulnerability and mortality fuel the undercurrent
Undercurrent of doom washes over the consciousness
The mind wanders / wonders / worries; Is today the day?

Will the teamed up scourge; pitiless overlord and minion
Akin to a knows-no bounds, jackbooted marauder / intruder
Kick down our doors; pummel our bodies into lifelessness?

Fill in his name, opportunistic overlord deems virus his minion
The virus laughs its ass off; knows fully well vice versa applies
The power-struggle destined / doomed to end in stalemate?

The subjugated bystanders; both the worried sick / sickened
Unproductively cry-out our outrage and / or cry our eyes dry
While all death liberated souls soar heavenward, we wonder?

Is today the day?
Is today the day?
Is today the day?


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John Lewis’ Good Trouble (Vid of the Day)

Our featured clip’s setup, as it appears over @YouTube…

“Founders Sing took a break from making parody videos to create an original song in honor of John Lewis. It was inspired by the powerful phrase he coined, “Good Trouble.” Now let’s all cause more Good Trouble by speaking up for justice… and VOTING!”

My kudos to Founders Sing for composing such an influential, soul searching, rallying Anthem!

R.I.P. John Lewis! While there’s much of your work, yet, to be done, your lifetime of activism and “good trouble” advocacy has afforded society a substantial starting point. The sturdy foundation you built and forward thinking you inspired will (hopefully soon) see to fruition, your vision for a unified world.


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Dumb Donald’s Green Thumb?

For optimal effect, prior to playing back the clip, above, read the set up, below…

From 1973 – 82, long before the Real Donald became a (four-letter) household word, we found the clever (clairvoyant?) Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences… situations such as…

Rayburn: Dumb Donald is soooooo dumb…
Audience: How dumb is he?
Rayburn: He tried to grow a bird by planting _____ in his backyard.

Soooooo… just how visionary were Mr. Rayburn’s “in-house” soothsayers / writers way back on (episode air date) February 27, 1978? Well they certainly were able to foresee the Real Donald’s inadequacies re all things science.

Were any shrink able to professionally slog through the vegetable garden… that is his mind… the good doctor might even discover a childish mash up of The Birds and the Bees and Horticulture… oh… say…

Donald’s misconceptions that babies are either grown in cabbage patches or get delivered by storks? Or to put a Wall Street spin on the latter… GROANER ALERT… baby shoppers roll their carts through their local Stork Market’s Re-Produce Section?

Hell, that’d be just as silly as farmer Dumb Donald trying to grow a bird by planting “blank” in his backyard… and speaking of that…

Seeing how plenty of time has elapsed since Gene first planted this Dumb Donald “seed” deep within the fertile imaginations of contestant Barbara and the celebs, alike, let’s scroll back up to discover how everyone fills in that blank… and how many matches will occur…


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‘Neath His Veneers

Meet the unruly ruler; delve ‘neath his veneers
Off the forward path / high road, he too often veers

He slashes freedom and funds, with talon sharp sheers
He’s counseled by yes-men, who are horses’ rears

He revels in fan’s cheers; reviles his foes’ jeers
Turns blind eye to the latter, who cry into beers

Evil eyes ever-glinting, his lecherous leers
His mouth more than hinting, at sadistic sneers

His snout snorts ire’s fire, which scorches and sears
Off yuge giant head, protrude right-slanted ears

His brainbox befuddled by stripped toothless gears
He’s morally bankrupt, life’s accounts in arrears

He’s been friendless from birth, hath not genuine peers
Run for your life! Watch your back! Whenever he nears!


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