Fortune Cookie Blog (I Voted?)

`

The slots of the paper shredder and ballot box electronic tabulator
present quite the uncanny resemblance. Pity people, who dwell in
nations where Fascism trumps and tramples Freedom. When auto-
crats machinate, there’s absolutely no diff between these machines!

`

`

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

`

`

`

What Takes Precedence

Ever since the raging pandemic tanked out our lives, livelihoods and tomorrows, very few of us have been in a spend like there’s no tomorrow mood. Consequently, our belt tightening efforts must prioritize securing adequate sustenance and livable accommodations.

Yet, all too often, YouTube’s advertising content fails to conform to our pandemic altered, stripped down to the bare essentials, state of consumerism.

I mean, we, the sensible people, are not about to buy into that platform’s vast array of products which, by and large, involve [1] unregulated, unsafe potions / shoddy wares that no one would dare sell at the retail level and [2] quasi-legal, get rich quick schemes. Neither would we want to deal with service providers who, were they to set up shop in the real world, would be rapidly run out of town.

And, so long as I’m already airing my grievances, why are such snake oil salesmen so effing long-winded? I mean, if it takes a guy an hour to dupe the gullible, maybe he isn’t even good at being a crook? Of course, such shortcomings would be a good thing.

Let’s look at this, conversely, too. YouTubers, who post content that’s vital to surviving the pandemic, should not have their messages preceded / interrupted / followed by advertising at all. Ditto that for content addressing discrimination and loss of liberty issues.

I must also pause to make my gripes more America-specific.

If I see even one more godforsaken campaign ad dripping with White House B.S. to whitewash that so-called leader’s grotesque white supremacism and/or promote his concerted efforts to incite urban wars and/or to downplay his DIY pandemic, I do believe my head will explode.

Returning to the basic fiscal matters:

While it’s vital to salvage what little may be left of each and every nation’s economy, what takes precedence is rescuing what’s left of humanity. Once that becomes a done deal, everything else should fall back into place.

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

-30-

Postcard Parable (The US Strangler)

 

Once Upon a Time, a Medical Examiner performed a postmortem on
Lady Liberty and Mother Nature. In each case, the collected forensic
evidence proved identical; the freakish tiny fingerprints, stray orange
make-up smudges and strands of dyed blond hair. Cause of death was
assault and battery and strangulation. A psychological profile pointed
to a psychopath suffering from delusions of grandeur, despotism and
misogyny. In spite of the infamous, prime suspect living in plain sight,
fearful, feckless lawmen flat-out refused to haul in his ass. THE END!
Moral: So long as a strangler roams free, no one lives/breathes freely!
Obiter Dictum: Stay safe at home – Mask-Up in public – Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Real Dumb Donald’s Bad Hair Day

From 1973 – 1982, long before the Real Donald became a household word, we found the clever and clairvoyant Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences.

Normally, at this juncture, I’d be presiding over a Dumb Donald clip, but, since my demand has nearly exhausted YouTube’s supply, I’ll now need to breathe new life into my shtick. ISO inspiration, namely, head-to-head matches with our dearly departed, Match Game souls, I’ve been simulating, semi-serious seances.

And methinks this graying old coot has not been departing the spirit world alone! Indeed, the new, game show host persona, from within, now emerges to preside over this reincarnated, revamped game show format. Voilà and Ta-Da!

Welcome contestants, one and all, to Match Game 20-20. I’m M.C. Grayburn. Our new rules are straightforward. Each of you will have one chance to match as many of our six, predetermined responses as possible. You’ll be playing for a priceless grand prize; the affirmation that you’re still a clearheaded, critical thinking non-consumer of the Kool-Aid™!

If your non-matching, responses prove more clever than Match Game’s, you’ll still be a winner! To claim your prize, post your witty and/or wise alternatives in the comment section, below. Soooooo, let’s play Match Game 20-20.

Grayburn: Real Dumb Donald, is soooooo dumb…
Audience: HOW DUMB IS HE?
Grayburn: even after paying his hairstylist $6,400
per year, he still looks scarier than ______________.

Once the “think music” starts, you’ll have 1 min. to figure out your 6 responses;
and no peeking beneath the turquoise hued, rectangular secrecy partition!

Real Dumb Donald, is so dumb, even after
paying his hairstylist $6,400 per year, he
still looks scarier than ____________.

1. Edward Scissorhands
2. a porcupine
3. a werewolf
4. Medusa
5. Khan Noonien Singh
6. Attila the Hun

BTW, don’t miss taking the Clip Gallery Tour below.

My thanks to all who showed up to play today! M.C. Grayburn for Match Game 20-20, good-bye and be sure to…

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

CLIP GALLERY TOUR

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is a coup d’état dress casual?

 

Hmm, now there’s an odd question this old-hand, seasoned, true blue American citizen never, ever expected he’d be asking; especially when that DC bash’s backdrop is expected to bleed outward to EveryTown, U.S.A.

Not that, at that point, I’d actually give a F about my fashion statement. But I do suppose, at the very least, the fabric should be stain-resistant; seeing how bloodstains are a bitch to remove.

• Will attendance be mandatory? We do know how VainMan is obsessed about size (uh, crowd size). I guess showing up would be advantageous; almost anything would be better than having to hear that big baby bellyaching / screeching re his low numbers till he’s iridescent orange in the face.

• Would anyone still have the balls to raid that odious blowout and shut ‘er down?

That, of course, IS the $64 Zillion question.

• But, WTF is the answer?

To all outward appearances, generals (who, btw have sworn to “defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and DOMESTIC”) don’t seem to be all that concerned re that firebrand’s brand of flaw and disorder.

• But, might appearances be deceiving?

It is possible that our top brass have been sporting their finest poker faces; i.e., laying in wait until the very last moment where / when they’ll be ding-donging the despot’s doorbell. And, soon afterwards, be hauling his fat Fascist fanny off the premises and lead-footing the paddy wagon off to the stockade.

At that point, I actually would give a F about my fashion statement.

Yep, I’d be donning my party hat and glad rags!

 

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Well-Versed Dumb Real Donald?

From 1973 – 1982, long before the Real Donald became a household word, we found the clever and clairvoyant Match Game writers submitting Dumb Donald scenarios for emcee Gene Rayburn to recite to the panelists, contestants and all who were playing along in the home and studio audiences.

Normally, at this juncture, I’d be presiding over a Dumb Donald Clip, but, since my demand has nearly exhausted YouTube’s supply, I’ll now need to breathe new life into my shtick. ISO inspiration, namely, head-to-head matches with our dearly departed, Match Game souls, I’ve been simulating, semi-serious seances. And methinks this graying old coot has not been departing the spirit world alone! Indeed, the new, game show host persona, from within me, now emerges to preside over this reincarnated, revamped game show format. Voilà and Ta-Da!

Welcome contestants, one and all, to Match Game 20-20. I’m M.C. Grayburn. Our new rules are straightforward. Each of you will have one chance to match as many of our six, predetermined responses as possible. You’ll be playing for a priceless grand prize; the affirmation that you’re still a clearheaded, critical thinking non-consumer of the Kool-Aid™!

If your non-matching, responses prove more clever than Match Game’s, you’ll still be a winner! To claim your prize, post your witty and/or wise alternatives in the comment section, below.

Soooooo, let’s play Match Game 20-20.

Check out this fill-in-the-blank limerick:

Real Dumb Donald is nasty as phlegm! Ick!
So deserving of this rant / polemic,
He won’t restrain deadly strain,
Nor rein in brutal cops’ reign,
Instead, props up ___________.

Once the “think music” starts, you’ll have 1 Minute to think up your 6 responses.
And, btw, no peeking beneath the turquoise hued, rectangular secrecy partition!

Real Dumb Donald is nasty as phlegm, ick,
So deserving of this rant / polemic,
He won’t restrain deadly strain,
Nor rein in brutal cops’ reign,
Instead, props up ___________.

1. FOX henchmen endemic
2. ass kissers systemic
3. schools non-academic
4. racism systemic
5. fake science alchemic
6. corona pandemic

My thanks to all who showed up to play today! M.C. Grayburn for Match Game 20-20, good-bye and be sure to…

Stay Safe at Home! Stay Publicly Masked! Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AB Negative Narrative

 

We the People have not been abeam, abloom and abubble. Instead, we’re abundantly taken aback when, right from within DC’s Alabaster Abode, abject aberrations from the accepted norms abound.

That’s the obsessed and abscessed absolutist’s locale, from which he launches his absurd, abrasive, abusive, abysmal, abnormal, abominable, abhorrent, above the law plot.

That’s the crime scene, from where he unabashedly and abruptly abets the abatement, ablation, abortion, abrogation, abbreviation, abridgement, abolishment of human / civil rights; where he threatens to set ablaze the absentee ballots, too.

We the unwilling to grant absolution to any duly dethroned, refusing to abdicate power tyrant; we who are not able.to abide by / get aboard with Democracy’s absorption by Fascism, can only feel abandoned and abducted.

When our Constitutional protective passages do an about-face WTF is left?

Might we “escape” by going the absinthe and other potent potables route?

Might we abstain by absconding abroad ISO the aboriginal paradise lands?

 

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Postcard Parable (The Grade F F’er)

 

Once upon a time, an odd Ogre, afflicted with malignant narcissism,
bovine spongiform encephalopathy, tertiary syphilis & Alzheimer’s,
hopelessly mucked up (beyond all recognition and repair), the very
homeland he swore on the Bible he’d preserve, protect and defend!
As such, his ferocious delusions of grandeur misled him; resulted in
his erroneously grading his leadership skills A+ while 6 out of every
10 of his subjects only deemed the F’er F-worthy. Not “owning” even
one achievement to present to non-cultist electors, his traveling the
high road to stay in power wasn’t a viable option. Ergo, his low road
spin doctors sabotaged fair elections! He won. Citizens lost! The End!
Moral 1: Unfit kings are best served by doctors of medicine; not spin!
Moral 2: Spin doctors can only worsen & prolong what ails a nation!
Obiter Dictum: Stay safe at home!  Mask up in public!  Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is there a Doctor in the house?

 

For anyone who actually gives a damn about public health / saving humanity, it’s impossible to not notice what common sense suggests could be a matter of life and death. Here’s what’s happening.

Now that in-person learning is underway within my community’s public schools, multiple dozens of student athletes have been jogging on the city sidewalks; unmasked and in a too close formation, which could not, possibly, even be approaching bare minimum, social distancing recommendations.

Granted, the medical experts have been claiming that COVID-19, typically, harms old people more than young AND, supposedly, is not particularly communicable outdoors.

Yet, Corona-V is so novel, one has to wonder…

• Do we really know every last damned one of its deadly capabilities?

• What about its adeptness at adapting / evolving into something even worse?

• Who’s to say that outdoor running’s increased, intensified respiration is not a risk factor?

• What if Trump’s bereft of science delusions still dictate Centers for Disease Control health safety protocols?

• Would it not be better to err on the side of caution?

• Since outdoor jogging affords plenty of room, why not triple the recommended social distancing norms?

• Is there a Doctor in the schoolhouse to look out for the well-being of the student body?

• Is there a Doctor in the vast WordPress house who, if warranted, would allay such concerns?

 

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Susanne Scherer Shares a S&G Song

Preface: Bold font denotes paraphrased and quoted lyrical passages.

Susanne Scherer and Thomas Kolbin front MoonSun; which they describe as a Symphonic Power Metal Band.

Their usage of stunning orchestration and visuals further dramatize the dark, creeping, lyrical visions planted by Paul Simon within his composition, Sound of Silence; originally released back on 09/12/1965.

Simon emphasized / MoonSun reemphasizes how little good can ever come of a society when human rights (among them, freedom of speech) get sickened by a cancerous silence; when the people have “bowed and prayed to the neon god they made”; especially when that neon is a garish ORANGE!

 

Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!