At the risk of scuttling this daily prompts’ entire premise, by and large, the jobs I’ve held (as the ol’ saying goes) are “nothing to write home about.” Nonetheless, I do appreciate a good challenge. Ergo, my new Job #1 mission will be to bullet-point a few of my résumé’s (dare I say it?) “highlights”.
- Juror: summoned twice, but never once, was impaneled in any courtroom’s jury box
- Delivery Guy: (telephone directories) “career” cut short due to self-discovery of a potentially hazardous work environment; i.e. many of the apartment doors I was duty bound to knock on were riddled with bullet holes (of the exiting variety…YIKES!
- Custodian: resigned after only one shift because I realized life was too short to be cleaning up after slobs, who likely rationalized being needlessly messy by deadpanning, “It’ll all be OK (LOL) WTF are janitors for, anyway, eh?”
Soooooo, readers, how am I doing so far? Had about enough? Yeah, me too. But, if I’ve accomplished nothing else, that above list did add a tad of credence to that ol’ “bad things happen in threes” truism!
Moving along, how about a couple of jobs that had been more relevant to my eventual college degree?
- Commercial Announcer: (sigh) This gig was all over and out before I could say, “1 hour worked, 5 bucks earned and 50 tons of fun.”
- Broadcaster: My Christmas week 1974 gig at a student staffed, college, FM radio station. I hired in as a substitute, unpaid, winter break, progressive rock DJ who’d been granted carte blanch in creating my own format and playlist; all in real time!
DJ Play by Play #1: So, there I was, seated in the studio inner sanctum, smack dab in the middle of a dream come true / fantasy fulfilled; at my beck and call were (cue up Beck’s 90s era lyrical reference), “two turntables and a microphone” as well as an audio board all lit up like a Christmas tree; transmitter controls behind me and, last but not least, off to my right, a massive, shelved from “A” to “Z” record library, which boasted untold thousands of vinyl LPs; representative of the soundtrack of my life, and much, Much, MUCH MORE!
DJ Play by Play #2: Yes, indeed, I had passed the audition. Soon afterwards, the Station Manager asked me to stay on staff at the start of the New Year. Alas, I wound up declining; mainly because I wanted to direct my time and energy, exclusively, to my studies (in the balance was maintaining my 4.0 GPA and, in turn, continuing to impress my folks).
X-DJ Play by Play: Alas, overachievers’ perfect GPA’s and broadcast arts oriented college degrees don’t, necessarily, guarantee employment opportunities within that sort of dog-eat-dog field; especially when well-established DJs, boasting sky high Arbitron ratings, oft cling so tenaciously to their gigs, they even report for work when they’re sick as a dog. And while, to the best of my knowledge, there are no documented cases, I do suspect that such DJs would even show up to do their shows if their doctors’ diagnoses proved ‘em to be in the active stage of dying.
Soooooo, instead, I spent the bulk of my working years (to the tune of three decades) lodged within a nearby shopping mall; trapped behind the gates of Retail Hell; aka the land of (little to no) opportunity; where the only guarantees turned out to be poverty wages, few benefits, job insecurity and brushes with (fortunately novice) sweatshop manager wannabes.
Of those 30 years, a tad more than 20 were spent working for one internationally known corporation; a bit shy of 10 years for another domestically HQ’d company; my staying power all courtesy of my strong work ethic and undying loyalty to a slew of big bosses, who in too damned many instances, were not worthy of of such dedication. I suspect that a few of that slew would’ve been overjoyed at the prospect of chopping that “un” prefix off the root word “dying”.
One compelling aspect re these two retail jobs was how each of of them had afforded me these nine additional job descriptions / titles…
- shipping receiving manager
- assistant manager
- floor manager
- plain clothes security guard
- inventory taker
- stock person
- sales clerk
- maintenance person
Soooooo, here I sit tapping away at my device; just about ready to complete my above-mentioned new Job #1 assignment. Hope my story hasn’t been too much of a yawner!
Be humans Vaxxed OR Unvaxxed, We
can still shed and spread the batcrap
crazy contagious coronavirus which,
in turn, spawns new variants; which,
in turn, could, eventually, render the
available vaccines worthless; which,
in turn, will drag out the pandemic’s
needless suffering, illness and death!
HENCE… this easy as pie, cover your
nose and pie-hole/hole-up heads-up:
Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!