Lighting the 18th Candle (One Quick Limerick #033)

 

 

Perv cradle-robbers, YOU’RE innocence vandals,
YOU are to blame, NOT your victims, for scandals,
Most statutes document,
There can be NO consent,
If birthday cakes aren’t topped with 18 candles!¹

 

 

¹Some states in America subtract a few of those candles which, regrettably, only further emboldens sexual predators.

Read the story particulars, which inspired this limerick HERE.

 

 

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Casting Couch Rapists (One Quick Limerick #032)

 

 

Film maker predators make vile demands,
Sexploitive casting call, casting couch stands,
Their own “thinking caps”,
Are just their jock straps,
Their so-called minds overruled by male glands.

 

 

Sunday Sermon (One Quick Limerick #031)

 

If mankind strays too much, sins sans remorse,

Our cross Creator won’t have much recourse,

He need not play active role,

He’ll let us dig our own hole,

His destroy Earth job, TO US, He’ll outsource!

 

Since, in this liberated male blogger’s opinion, there’s no place for sexism in any religion… and remaining mindful of the fact that Theologians do claim humans are made in God’s image… we must not ignore 50 percent of 7+ Billion people.

 

If our race strays too much, sins sans remorse,

Our wise Creator won’t have much recourse,

She need not play active role,

She’ll let us dig our own hole,

Her destroy Earth job, TO US, She’ll outsource!

 

DISCLAIMER from the Department of Second Thoughts: I don’t believe a female God would ever be a vengeful God. Indeed, She’d behave far more evolved, exhibit far much more patience and empathy… and as such… would work far, Far, FAR more diligently at preventing humankind’s violent, self-destructive end.

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

Robotics vs. Psychotics (One Quick Limerick #030)

 

The so-called-prez, Kim Jong-Un, strut and snort,

Rattle their nukes and our nerves just for sport,

Will their demeanor, psychotic,

Prompt intervention, robotic?

Will Earth be visited by Klaatu’s Gort?

 

If you’ve never seen the classic, 1951 Sci-Fi cinematic gem, which inspired the above limerick, you can read all about it over at Wikipedia and/or watch the entire film over at YouTube (regrettably, the images are not centered properly but it’s the only free of charge clip I could locate).

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

Skin & Bones Beauty? (One Quick Limerick #029)

 

Greet Hollywood film stars at their dain-ti-est,

Meet catwalk cadavers at their dead-li-est,

A woman’s healthy physique,

Need not be Barbie Doll™ sleek,

Such narrow parameters! Don’t get possessed!

 

Read more about it here

 

An Alternative Version…

 

With rail thin film actresses, don’t be impressed,

With catwalk cadavers, please, don’t get possessed,

A woman’s healthy physique,

Need not be Barbie Doll™ sleek,

Such narrow parameters aren’t always best!

 

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

A Poetic Acrostic (One Quick Limerick #028)

 

Observe Der Führer bleat / let his Tweets fly,

Frothed with news-speak, bald-faced lies, fierce outcry,

Un-invites / ousts lib press crews,

Calls their whole truths the “fake news”,

Key free speech / press rights he’ll condemn / defy!

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.

 

 

Educating Betsy? (One Quick Limerick #027)

 

Dense Education Sec. Betsy DeVos,

Re-rapes rape victims! Betrays!! Double Cross!!!

The vile rapists she’ll coddle,

Share with her, a role model,

Her damned deplorable crotch-grabbing boss.

 

You can access details to this story by clicking here.

 

You can access more original limericks, poetry and lyrical parodies by clicking onto my poetry category.