Fortune Cookie Blog: Clerical Error

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Blanket Statement: Thou shalt not make light of, or
worse yet, badmouth righteous, organized religion;
righteous being the kicker. To kick that statement’s
blanket off, there’s nothing righteous about an ego-
centric cleric or, worse yet, self-proclaimed prophet
who seizes the pulpit to profit personally/financially;
OR to proselytize/fund-raise on behalf of wannabes,
who, once elected, will gut society of human rights,
morality, liberty, etc; OR to trot out “sermons” that’ll
incite his cultish disciples to hijack commercial jets;
to kamikaze them into a nation’s iconic architecture;
or, via the coup, desecrate its citadels of democracy.

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Four Top-Story Op-Eds

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While deep carbon footprints, leave our planet sore
Science deniers stomp down more, More, MORE
Sans a kick-ass, greenhouse gas curbing plan
Earth kicks the bucket, ‘cause fools kicked the can

Pandemic pooh-poohers, fret not ‘bout ill health
Pander to seekers of ill-gotten wealth
They likely pan the five mill Covid dead
And pant over their $pread$heet$, instead*

Orange snowflake melts down in his golden lair
Contests the election, that’s been proven fair
His Big Lie will spark doubt; do vast harm
Beyond the day that asshat buys the farm

The hardcore right, hazards Jan 6th rewrite
To morph OrangeMan, into what? Traitor-Lite?
To gaslight the TrueBlue, all still taken aback
By the fake prez who waged too real attack!

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*Alternate Line:
And pant over their $pread$heet$, in bed

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Dear Joe

Dear Joe,

Excuse my exasperation and skepticism, but, just what the hell is left for real Americans to hope for when the other side of the pandemic involves:

  • a looming, climate changed, unfit for humankind, scorched Earth
  • mass murderer targeted school houses, houses of worship, etc.
  • police departments seething with bigotry, brutality and militancy
  • the ever-deepening Have-It-Alls and Have Nothings chasm
  • our Supreme/Federal benches overloaded with hardliner rightie judges
  • workers forced to endure non-living wages and union busting
  • free, fair elections mucked up by anti-American state legislators
  • a U.S. Senate hamstrung by DINO’s, the filibuster and parliamentarian
  • the too lenient punishment of the January 6th terrorists / their leader DJT
  • an electorate comprised of up to 75 million who plot to re-empower DJT

Let’s not mince words. The apparently getting off scot-free (AGAIN) Donald J. Trump has a massive ego, which won’t permit him to pass up another bid for reelection and, come 2024, win or lose, he will wield the power to paint the town; paint America blood red.

In Victory: DJT, obviously, will regain command of the military and will wind up seated atop a nuclear arsenal as considerable as his ass, itself; such deadly power proving more than adequate to enforce his “official” overthrow of Democracy; thereby denying life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness / the entire American Dream to all (save for himself and perhaps his immediate family).

In Defeat: DJT will, once again, dredge up the trope that non-existent, widespread voter fraud had denied him victory and then, promptly rally / deploy his vast private army of domestic terrorists STAT; send these insurrectionists on a bat-crap crazy rampage / assault that’ll likely dwarf what real America witnessed (and barely survived) back on January 6th.

Mr. President, far be it for this man, who voted for you, to tell you how best to live up to your Oath of Office, but, in my (History) book, this is not a Kumbaya Moment; one where your affable, camp counselor / Mister Rogers personae and gentlemanly demeanor will suffice.

That’s about all the strength this true blue, peaceable, private citizen can muster, today.

I sure as hell hope and pray that, when needed, you can summon whatever it takes to keep the peace; to preserve, protect and defend our beloved America.

Wishing you / your loved ones all the best life has to offer,

Tom

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P.S. ~ Since early 2020, this is how I’ve been ending all my posts…

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Risky Business

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Found in this afternoon’s snail mail was World Book Encyclopedia’s letter to announce that their learned historians had spent their precious time researching and authoring a book titled, The Road to the White House. Hmm, for starters, far more honest title choices would’ve been:

The Rocky Road to the White House OR America’s Near Death Experience.

Worse yet, the direct marketing department informed me that if I failed to opt out, STAT, they’d automatically ship this book to me for a no obligation, “free” 15 day perusal period. Hmm, for starters:

What’s free about my having to shell out shipping charges to send it back? I can think of far better ways to spend my bread… oh… say… by purchasing actual loaves of bread; some peanut butter and jam would be yummy, too.

Beyond that, why would I ever want to be reminded of how the 2020 election cycle ended on January 6, 2021; a.k.a., America’s Darkest Day; a.k.a. The Day of Infamy, where one Donald J. Trump, a.k.a. the (then) President of the United States of America had assembled his private army (a.k.a. his rightwing domestic terrorists, insurrectionists, psychotic sycophants, QAnon cultists, goons, thugs, etc.); commanded them to (on his behalf), storm the U.S. Capitol and overthrow the United States of America.

Why, each and very time I’d pick up such a book, I’d be instantly reminded of my righteous indignation regarding how that treasonous bastard has yet to be punished to the fullest extent of the law; and in all likelihood, NEVER WILL BE!

My gawd, for that treasonous act of his, alone, he deserves a life sentence in prison and eternal damnation in HELL! The only leniency he’d ever deserve would be to do his time within a maximum security mental institution.

However, to return to the book marketer created prob:

Initially, I thought I’d need to make a special trip to the Post Office to mail back the opt out postcard. And, factoring in the machinations of Trump’s appointed evil Postmaster General, one Louis DeJoy, and how he’s intentionally mucked up nearly everything postal, that card might not arrive in a timely manner; might never arrive at all.

Worst of all, I’d be risking my very life; the potential exposure to COVID-19’s far more communicable and deadlier variants by having to mask up to venture forth into Donny’s Diseased Dystopia.

Fortunately, in the fine print, the World Book folks had also included an opt out Toll Free phone number. That’s where I spoke to one of their reps who promptly cancelled the book’s auto mail out. I also requested she forward my comment to the powers-that-be, namely:

“Future offers such as these should be Opt-In NOT Opt-Out.”

And you know what? Sans any hesitation, she agreed with me. I thanked her and offered my stay healthy wishes.

Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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A G-String o’ Hard/Soft “G” WordPlay

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Once upon a time, there existed an egotistical, gargantuan, gluttonous, graceless, greedy, greasy, garish, gauche, gaudy, gilded, goldbrick, gasbag grifter / gangster, who transmogrified into a good for nothing General / general nuisance.

No student of History… HELL… no student of ANYTHING… was he.

As such, THAT ignoble, ignominious, inglorious, undignified, disgraceful, thuggish power grabber (likely unwittingly) patterned his disgusting régime after WW-II Nazi Germany; fully depended upon the Third Reich’s key goons (e.g., Hermann Göring) to ingrain into American society, something akin to a latter day Gestapo.

He also relied, a great deal, upon his Joseph Goebbels channeling, TV talking head, propaganda ministers to aid and abet his degenerate agenda; to totally warp the minds of his base, devotee voter base.

Six scant days into ’21, the degenerate General assembled his vast, savage legions of insurgents, goons and renegades; knowingly organized and energized this angry throng as his private army; rallied his gung-ho gang of gushing grovelers into such a ferocious frenzy that they stormed the Reichstag; destroyed, defiled and even publicly defecated within the U.S. Capitol!

Although this ragtag mélange of domestic terrorists / enemy combatants, fortunately, failed to prevail, even now (as I type and you read), these psychotic hangers on stand down / remain on stand-by; all gleefully, giddily chomping at the bit to hear their rabid, gruff, growling, mongrel General’s very next, foaming at the mouth barked out, “Attack!” command.

The End?

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Stay Publicly / Properly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Multidimensional Message (Acrostic)

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Fascist flattery junkie, craves his lunatic fringe
Undue praise, from fans, fills up that addict’s syringe
Craven butt kissers, smooch his rear region’s dinge
Kudos from his TV toadies; on them, too, he’ll binge

Tyrant torches Democracy; won’t settle for singe
Rouses rabble & rebels; makes the virtuous cringe
Unruly ruler’s brain cells, both unravel; unhinge
Moneyed, yet bankrupt, sums up his selfish stinge
Pain in everyone’s ass, far exceeds the slight twinge

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Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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“Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer spoke to the media after federal and state law enforcement officials announced the arrest of 13 people who allegedly plotted to kidnap her and try her for “treason” over the state’s coronavirus restrictions. Watch her remarks.” Quote and clip courtesy of the CBS News YouTube Channel • Oct 8, 2020 • 51,693 views

My commentary follows…

Back on Election Day 2018, we the savvy voters of Michigan had opted to empower, as our governor, the progressive Democrat Gretchen Whitmer.

Ever since the earliest days of Donald J. Trump’s DIY pandemic, she has steadfastly remained in defiance of that notorious science denier and his incomprehensible and reprehensible disregard for human life; so much so that via her orders to shelter at home / mask up in public, she has mitigated COVID-19’s spread; minimized human suffering and death.

Indeed, her prompt and proactive approach to pandemic management may’ve even saved my very life. So far.

That qualifying “so far” is owing to the fact that Trumpian Republicans, (who dominate our State House, Senate and Judiciary), have all been doing their damnedest to undermine Whitmer’s authority. You see, Donny’s devotees believe their investment portfolios take precedence over public health / public safety concerns.

To say the least, Trump loathes all Democrats (especially when they’re female).

It has been Trumpian Tantrums and TweetStorms, which have been targeting Whitmer. His very words have not only enraged and emboldened the above-mentioned Republican sycophants, but also have infuriated and weaponized his psychotic, boneheaded, militant, always itching for violence supporters / domestic terrorists.

So much so that the FBI had to intervene, yesterday, to thwart the Wolverine Watchmen’s wretched plot to overthrow Michigan government; thwart their plans to kidnap and kill our heroic Governor.

We can judge the seriousness of Trump’s Terrorists and their threat to America by the following warped rantings of one of his goons:

“God bless our president! I would die for him! I will die for that man, happily! I will die for him! Anybody wanna mess with him, you mess with me first! He is a hero, that man!”

Unidentified Male among a throng of Trump supporters • Bethesda MD • 10/04/2020

News, such as this, has literally hit me where I live. And, from an emotional standpoint, I’ve been hit hard.

The fact that the FBI can still function properly is only slightly reassuring. I cannot help but wonder if their limited staffing would ever be able to keep up with subversive Trump’s resurrection and resumption of “our” 19th century Civil War and his concurrent overthrow of America.

Under such dire circumstances, what We, the true Americans, will wind up facing down will be stripped down to stark, fight or flight options. And what do you suppose will become of this pacifist with nowhere to go?

And how odd, indeed, it is to be typing these words in the chilly, October predawn hours; within what, once upon a time, used to be America; the finest, most stable, unconquerable nation our world has ever known; and may never know again.

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Stay Publicly Masked!
Stay Safe at Home!
Stay Healthy!

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Who’ll Be Minding the Store?

That Joe Biden is LESS CORRUPT than Donald Trump is not the issue.

That LESS CORRUPT would ever need to become the qualifying words, IS the issue!

There is no getting around the truth that Joe Biden’s son, Hunter, benefited, financially due to nepotism… by snagging his $600,000-a-year job on the board of Burisma Holdings. And that does beg some questions…

How could We the People ever entrust a President Biden to drain the Trumpian, overflowing DC swamp, when Joe failed to advise his own son to reject that job offer? Whatever happened to leading by example?

And that makes Joe a POTUS wannabe with a BIG problem. Let’s say he wins the Democratic Party nomination and goes head to head with Donald J. Trump. True, Trump has no head, but since bloggers, everywhere, have already discussed this ad nauseam, why say more?

Anyway, throughout the entire 2020 campaign, Donny (no stranger, himself, to allowing nepotism to benefit his own brood), ironically, will be successfully hammering in his talking point that Joe is soft on nepotism / corruption… that he reeks of it. The voters will catch a whiff of Biden’s stench and even vote for the far stronger stench of Trump, instead (go figure, huh?).

While I’d still have to oust Trump by voting for Biden (sorry… that’s a regrettable fact of life with a two party system), prior to marking my ballot, I’d either need to spray the voting booth with Febreze™ or bring a clothespin for my nose. One would think that to encourage a bigger voter turnout, our local election officials would supply both products.

So, do the Democratic Party big shots actually believe Biden to be the candidate most likely to succeed? If he’s the best man they can trot out, why not simply tell Joe to deliver his Election Night concession speech, right now, and get it over with?

No folks, most assuredly, I have not defected to become a Trumpian blowhole. I’m just being brutally honest, here, because we need to reject Biden while we still have time to nominate a far superior, hopefully progressive, (wo)man.

Look, even were Biden to get elected, unless he could snag up to eight long years of Democratic majorities in both the Senate and House, he’d wind up facing down his immediate impeachment / conviction / ouster, “courtesy” of his savagely vindictive, Republican foes. And he’d have no one else to blame but himself.

To regain some respectability, it might serve Biden well to [1] “crash” Trump’s Impeachment Trial, [2] admit nepotism is wrong, [3] deliver a stump speech that’d also expose Trump’s own corruption AND [4] challenge Trump to show up / fess up, too. Hell, figuratively speaking, Joe could probably mop the entire U.S. Senate’s filthy floor with Trump’s mangy mane.

Let’s now Fast Forward to Election Day 2020. It’ll likely be Biden vs. Trump. And whoever wins, the people will lose… namely… because Trump helps nobody but himself and, once the newly empowered Republican majorities within the House and Senate impeach, convict and oust Biden his VP turned President will be left cowering in the corner… even though that’d be impossible in a oval shaped room.

Indeed, be the victor Biden or Trump, nobody will be minding the store to effectively cope with a slew of national / worldly problems… namely… Vladimir Putin’s land grabs, a destabilized Middle East / North Korea, nuclear proliferation, foreign and domestic terrorism, unholy holy wars, domestic gun violence, a wealthy folks driven class war, corrupt Wall Street / business practices, non-living wages, racial / gender inequality, drug / opioid abuse, an ailing / aging populace and, last but not least, climate change that, left unchecked, will render Earth uninhabitable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Physical and Fiscal Hematological Study?

 

The Trumpian plan / plot to Make America Great / Grate Again likely entails arming (to the teeth), virtually anyone who can fog up a dentist’s mirror shoved beneath their nostrils. No brain establishing med-tech’s CT scan and no rationality establishing headshrinker’s evaluation required. Indeed, about the only restriction would be passing Donny’s nationality / WASP test.

OMG… were he to ever see such a reckless scheme to fruition, consider the costly impact upon the estimated 330 million souls presently dwelling within the U.S. borders!

Think of all the spilt red blood!

Hmm… to figure out where the alleged prez’s alleged mind might meander off to next, the following “enhancement” of Sir Isaac Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion could come in handy…

For every absurd action there is an equal and opposite absurd reaction.

To elaborate, WHAT IF the Trumpian counter-terrorism plan involved providing suits of armor and round-the-clock Secret Service protection to all law abiding WASPs dwelling within the United States?

OMG… were he to actually trot out such a boondoggle, consider the costly impact upon the estimated 330 million souls presently dwelling within the U.S. borders!

Think of all the spilt red ink!

While my above commentary is totally fake news… when we factor in the Trumpian proclivity for mindlessly pissing away multiple billions of tax dollars on hair-brained schemes…

Today’s absurd WP post could easily become tomorrow’s absurd DC policy.